When I started this column my intention was to write about little skateboarding missions. Hitting the short road with some buddies and checking out new skateparks in our vicinity, or maybe just rolling around old spots that we've been sessioning forever. It seemed like the perfect excuse to go hang out with my friends, drink a cold beer or two, and come home and be able to tell my wife in all honesty that I'd been "working." And it worked for a while. But lately I just can't bring myself to do it anymore. Not because I feel bad about horsing around with my buddies instead of being at home scooping the cat litter box, but because I have absolutely no desire to go outside during the day anymore.So far it has been over 100 degrees for 70+ days in Austin, which breaks some kind of old record for shitty weather here. We're also experiencing the worst drought since probably forever. I'm sure somebody out there is reading this and is living someplace that's even hotter and crappier than Austin, but I don't care about where you live. And not because I'm insensitive or self-centered, but just because I don't have time to write about your crappy life too.So anyway, this whole not wanting to get heat stroke thing has forced me to try to think of things to write about that don't involve going outside and taking photos. This week's creative solution will take you, the reader, into a folder on my desktop titled: EMAIL, which is a folder full of random images that I attach to emails so that people will think I'm weird. Because it's important that people think you're weird when you fashion yourself as an artist. That's why most artists have stupid haircuts. Mystery solved.
The only thing that would make this photo better would be if that sweatband was a scratch and sniff so that you could smell the Doritos and loneliness.
Most of the images in my EMAIL folder were found on the internet when I was trying to find an image of something else. I think I was trying to find an image of "Woody from Cheers" when I stumbled across this thing. Actually I totally made that up, I don't know what I was looking for when I found this drawing. But do you think that Woody Harrelson is bummed that Matthew McConaughey is totally the new Woody Harrelson? But with chiseled abs and a spectacular head of hair? Oh, you've never thought about that? Yeah… me neither…
Did you know that Johnny Depp and Steve Buscemi made a baby together? His name is Sarah and he is a bad boy.
I stole this off of somebody's facebook page and it's a good reminder that no matter how awesome you think you are, you're not this awesome.
I don't think there's anything I could write that would make this image more interesting.
I used to be in a Mariachi band with Travis Millard and Mike Aho. It was kind of weird because I didn't actually know how to play the guitar, so I was the guy that yelled in people's faces while they were trying to eat their enchiladas. Those were good times.
The guy on the left did something bad and so did the guy on the right. The guy on the right is Bam Margera's uncle. I think he got arrested for groping a teenage girl. His neck reminds me of a travel pillow. Full of hot beef gravy.
This is a piece of art that I made out of a postcard. If all of the art that I made was like this I could probably get an art show at someplace other than a skate shop. Like maybe an eclectic coffee shop.
For some reason when I send this photo to people they ask me to never send it to them again. I guess it just makes them feel bad that they'll never be as cute as me and my wife. Haters gonna hate.
This photo makes me embarrassed to have a penis.
I like to imagine myself showing these photos to my son's friends in about 20 years. "Yeah, I know all about partying… with another man… in a shitty apartment… wearing costumes… and taking pictures… " He's gonna be so stoked.Anyway… my EMAIL folder has about 350 more photos in it, so if this heat wave doesn't break I'll share some more with you later on.Oh, and here's a guest movie review by my buddy Travis Williams:
LabyrinthDavid Bowie steals a baby.The End.http://www.msieben.com/http://www.rogerskateboards.com/Previously - Screech Rules
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The only thing that would make this photo better would be if that sweatband was a scratch and sniff so that you could smell the Doritos and loneliness.
Most of the images in my EMAIL folder were found on the internet when I was trying to find an image of something else. I think I was trying to find an image of "Woody from Cheers" when I stumbled across this thing. Actually I totally made that up, I don't know what I was looking for when I found this drawing. But do you think that Woody Harrelson is bummed that Matthew McConaughey is totally the new Woody Harrelson? But with chiseled abs and a spectacular head of hair? Oh, you've never thought about that? Yeah… me neither…
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Did you know that Johnny Depp and Steve Buscemi made a baby together? His name is Sarah and he is a bad boy.
I stole this off of somebody's facebook page and it's a good reminder that no matter how awesome you think you are, you're not this awesome.
I don't think there's anything I could write that would make this image more interesting.
I used to be in a Mariachi band with Travis Millard and Mike Aho. It was kind of weird because I didn't actually know how to play the guitar, so I was the guy that yelled in people's faces while they were trying to eat their enchiladas. Those were good times.
The guy on the left did something bad and so did the guy on the right. The guy on the right is Bam Margera's uncle. I think he got arrested for groping a teenage girl. His neck reminds me of a travel pillow. Full of hot beef gravy.
This is a piece of art that I made out of a postcard. If all of the art that I made was like this I could probably get an art show at someplace other than a skate shop. Like maybe an eclectic coffee shop.
For some reason when I send this photo to people they ask me to never send it to them again. I guess it just makes them feel bad that they'll never be as cute as me and my wife. Haters gonna hate.
This photo makes me embarrassed to have a penis.
I like to imagine myself showing these photos to my son's friends in about 20 years. "Yeah, I know all about partying… with another man… in a shitty apartment… wearing costumes… and taking pictures… " He's gonna be so stoked.
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