MINGLING WITH SOME MASONS

Last week Billy Rohan and I went to the Grand Masonic Lodge on 23rd street to hang out with some Freemasons. Billy used to volunteer at the Masonic Library as an art handler, so he was invited to an Apron Presentation (the induction of a new member along with a party and lots of oysters) and decided to bring me as his guest. A lot of people think the Freemasons are a secret society that controls our money and the government, but when I tried to tell Billy that we were wandering into the Bat Cave of our overlords, he laughed and said that people who believe that crap just don't want to hold themselves responsible for their own uneventful lives. "Their theories about the Freemasons," he said, "can be as senseless as trying to use the excuse 'the devil made me do it.' They blame everyone but themselves for their own misgivings."

I wasn't convinced. So on we went to the Grand Masonic Lodge--a baller building that serves as the stomping grounds for Freemasons in New York. This particular lodge is called the Mariners Lodge, and it did not fail to live up to its name. The whole time I felt like I was on a ship sailing through a fancy and mysterious ocean.

Inside, the director of the Robert R. Livingston Library was breaking out some ancient Masonic aprons dating back as far as the 1700s. Some of the aprons were worn during their lodge meetings.

As you can see, they are doused in secret Masonic symbols. Apparently, the aprons served as old-timey construction outfits for the Operative Masons, a group that built many of the Gothic cathedrals in Europe.

Billy, who as it turns out, is some sort of goddamned scholar on Freemasons, explained to me that in order to become a Freemason, there are three degrees you have to attain. Once you attain the third degree, you are called a Master Mason, and at that point, you can join other Masonic bodies such as the Scottish Rite or the Shriners.

A lot of rappers are stupid, and like to make it sound like the 33rd degree is the most powerful rank you can attain. That's not true. The 33rd degree is an honorary degree bestowed upon people who have contributed something significant to humanity and the fraternity--people like Buzz Aldrin, or President Ronald Reagan. According to themselves and Billy, The Freemasons' cause is a noble one. Their four tenets are brotherly love, faith, hope, and charity.

This is a Shriners hat from the Cyprus Shrine that the Grand Master can be seen wearing at a Shriners' ceremony. The group originally started in New York City with the Mecca Shrine, and they are now a concordant body that Master Masons are welcome to join. They are responsible for establishing the network of Shriners Children's Hospitals, which offer free services to children whose families can't afford it.

As a Mason, when you want to greet a fellow Mason with respect you say, "hey brother, good to see you." Just like how black people do it. No matter what, he's a brother. As a Freemason, I was told the most honorable word that you can be called in your life is "brother."

They opened the dinner ceremony by banging their mallets at each head of the table, which was awesome and gave the whole place a fancy courtroom vibe. I plan on starting all my meals like this from now on.

It turns out that there is more to the fraternity than just a bunch of rich, old white guys in funny hats. The place was as diverse as a New York subway car, minus the homeless people and women. They were a lively bunch. Everyone seemed to simultaneously be knitting complex beaded Masonic quilts, throwing back pints of stout, and pounding hundreds of raw oysters.

The thing about the Freemasons is, they aren't going to come knocking on your door asking if you want to join. If you want to be a member, you have to seek them out. If you think you've got the chops, you can apply for membership here.

TAJI AMEEN