In the old days, youngsters like you and me would go to our elders for guidance. In turn, our benevolent, grey-bearded and saggy-boobed advisors would use their wisdom to help sort out any ordeal, big or small, in a tradition that went back to Aristotle, Confucius and Yoda. These days we have the Internet and old people are pretty much redundant, and maybe that’s fair enough. Why come face to face with a living, wheezing reminder of your own mortality when you can just ask Twitter? This has been working okay so far, but we thought it might be nice to throw the oldies a bone and get their opinions on some #dilemmas we found. Too bad it turns out old people don’t give a crud what we’re doing.DILEMMA #1
VICE: What light can you shed on this young fellow’s #dilemma?
John: I think people have got too much time on their hands if they’re tweeting about this.So you have no guidance on this matter at all? You honestly don’t have anything to say about the Big Bang Theory?
No, seems like there are more people on Twitter talking about irrelevant stuff already. I don’t need to join in.Thanks a lot.DILEMMA #2
Looks like another classic fork in the road of life. What say you, oracle?
Jane: They both sound like a waste of time!Yeah but seriously, what do you think he should do about the fries?
I honestly have no opinion on this, but it is pretty interesting what people choose to put on Twitter.DILEMMA #3
Drawing on your experience of life and of hip-hop, how would you advise this guy?
Tony: It depends of the person asking for the advice, if they’ve got talent for rap, maybe. If there is no talent, probably go to work. Remember even talented rappers have to eat while they establish their careers.His handle is @therealdog, so I get the feeling he thinks he’s pretty good at it.
Then work part time for the cash while working on his career.Finally some proper wisdom! Thanks Tony.DILEMMA #4
Do you think this guy wants a banana, a brownie, or some Cheezits?
Garry: I think this is not relevant and pretty trivial.It’s probably pretty important to him.
Maybe it is for him, I guess the Internet is good for people like this.Yeah but what should he eat?
I’d say just have the banana.DILEMMA #5
This girl is worried about what she might be missing out on having a boyfriend old enough to be her father, got any advice for her?
Margaret: As long as is bank balance is very healthy and is health is very poor, go for it. He probably won’t last long. Concentrate on the sex, Ii’ll push up his blood pressure. Especially if he has a weak heart.Whoa, that’s heavy.
Make the most of it, you’re already missing out on all the young guys. Trust me you’ll regret it later.For more dilemmas getting sorted out, go here. Submit your own dilemma video and you could win $30,000.
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John: I think people have got too much time on their hands if they’re tweeting about this.So you have no guidance on this matter at all? You honestly don’t have anything to say about the Big Bang Theory?
No, seems like there are more people on Twitter talking about irrelevant stuff already. I don’t need to join in.Thanks a lot.DILEMMA #2
Jane: They both sound like a waste of time!Yeah but seriously, what do you think he should do about the fries?
I honestly have no opinion on this, but it is pretty interesting what people choose to put on Twitter.DILEMMA #3
Tony: It depends of the person asking for the advice, if they’ve got talent for rap, maybe. If there is no talent, probably go to work. Remember even talented rappers have to eat while they establish their careers.His handle is @therealdog, so I get the feeling he thinks he’s pretty good at it.
Then work part time for the cash while working on his career.Finally some proper wisdom! Thanks Tony.DILEMMA #4
Garry: I think this is not relevant and pretty trivial.It’s probably pretty important to him.
Maybe it is for him, I guess the Internet is good for people like this.
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I’d say just have the banana.DILEMMA #5
Margaret: As long as is bank balance is very healthy and is health is very poor, go for it. He probably won’t last long. Concentrate on the sex, Ii’ll push up his blood pressure. Especially if he has a weak heart.Whoa, that’s heavy.
Make the most of it, you’re already missing out on all the young guys. Trust me you’ll regret it later.For more dilemmas getting sorted out, go here. Submit your own dilemma video and you could win $30,000.