Pen Pals

On Rapists

By Bert Burykill

glorious-rape-van

We call them “rape-os” and they are everywhere. The New York Department of Corrections is shutting down prisons and, as a result, my "facility” is being flooded with varying strains of pervert. We've had about 50 rape-ologists sent up here in the last two weeks. Traditionally, the sex crime convict is the lowest of the low. It’s taboo to hang out with the rape-os, and often we talk tough like, “I’m gonna beat the shit out of that sumbag rape-o,” but that rarely happens. Rape-os do get extorted, though. We run people’s name and number through the NYSDOC website to discover their crime, and if it’s rape, sexual assault, sodomy, etc, an enterprising inmate might approach the rape-o and strike a deal. Sometimes a rape-o even becomes prey for a Booty Bandit, but that happens more at max-security prisons, supposedly.

Rape-os give white people a very bad reputation. Almost all convicted rape-os are white and spooky-looking. I believe most perverts started out as big fucking dorks, which forced them to go an unsavory route to get buns. They have an SOP (sexual offender program) up here that is supposed to cure them, but really it only serves as a support group that fuels their perversion. They will strike again. Coming to jail and being deprived of sex and love doesn’t make anyone’s sex life healthier. Trust me—I know.

There are three types of rape-o excuse. They never say, “Yeah, I raped a little kid. The tears turned me on.” The most common one is, “She looked at least 17. I was drunk and she came on to me. I didn’t know.” This is actually kinda sad, because I had a friend who boned two drunk girls, one 15 and one 16, at a party when he was 19. He took it to trial and got seven years. Witnesses said the girls were happy to give it up, but they didn’t want to seem like sluts and, due to family pressure, they made up a story. When this happens to a 30-year-old, it’s different, and pretty inappropriate. But who knows? Some 15-year-old girls are more mature than some 30-year-old men.

The second rape-o line is absurd and raises a red flag. This is the “My wife/girlfriend said I raped her” story. Sounds to me like they just wanted the pussy of an ex and broke in and took it. I don’t like this excuse, but I’ve heard it four times now.

The third excuse is the most difficult to gauge—his word against hers. Of course the guy always says she lied, and I’ve hung with a couple of crack whores who I could see pulling this type of stunt when they're in a bad mood. Some rapists probably are victims of crazy broads, but that’s not going to fly in prison. Hanging with rape-os is not a luxury I can afford in here. I don’t hang out with many violent offenders in general. I mostly get along with other drug dealers.

I knew a rape-o who got charged with touching little kids when he was about 21. He was a big dork—about 5’3”, fat, and obviously never got any ass, so he took it from little boys and girls. He got caught and charged with a five- to 15-year sentence, and did the full 15 because he refused to take the SOP. He threw ten years away because of stubborn pride. Maybe he didn’t touch those kids? He was 35 when he got out earlier this year. What a shitty life.

Another rape-o in here banged a couple old ladies on his Meals on Wheels route. And when I say “banged,” I mean “broke in wearing a ski mask and raped.” This scumdick got 15 years and walked around here cocky as hell, selling drugs, hanging out with the “cool” tough-guy white crowd, playing sports—he even had a bonerable job in the package room where he could steal shit. Everyone knew he raped some old disabled ladies, but he lived fine. I could write a whole book on rapists in prison and I still wouldn’t understand how it works.

Previously - If You Build Her, You Will Cum

Bert Burykill is the pseudonym of a guy serving time in a medium-security prison in upstate New York for drug possession. We don’t want to get more specific than that, because apparently the prison doesn’t look kindly on its inmates publishing anything negative about incarceration.

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