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      POP VOX - CHODE OR CHODE?

      March 9, 2010

      By Alex

      Few arenas of linguistic research compel such heated debate as the breakdown of regional slang, and the terminology of the groin and butthole. But while many of these hot-spots conform to a reasonably discernable logic ("clambake" restricted mainly to residents of coastal, seafood-dependent locations, "hotbox," to areas which still maintain heinous prison camps.) a select few evade easy delineation.

      For instance, I have never in my whole life heard the word "chode" applied to the region of unbroken skin spanning the base of the scrotum to the frontal lip of the anus, commonly referred to as the "taint"or "nifkin." To me, a chode is, and will always be, a weird, potentially theoretical dick shape in which girth exceeds length. I am from Massachusetts, but I have interacted and certainly swapped chodes with people from across this great land, assuming we were all of one accord.

      Two weeks ago, however, a coworker insisted that the term chode was strictly a synonym for the taint and now I've got no clue which way is up and who my friends are. To get a better grasp on the chode situation I decided to take the question to the streets.

      Vice: What do you think the definition of the word “chode” is?
      Steve: It definitely means short, fat dick.

      Have you ever heard the word “chode” used synonymously with the word “’taint?”
      No.

      Where are you from?
      I’m originally from Pennsylvania

      Interesting. There’s some argument regarding regional-specific definitions.
      Yeah, but a taint’s a taint. My friends might call each other “chode” or whatever but, no, I’ve never heard it used for taint.

      Why do you think you’re right?
      A chode’s a chode, man.

      Vice: What do you think a “chode” is?
      Ethan: I believe it refers to the area between the testicles and the butthole, or to a “douchey guy.”

      Where are you from?
      I’m from Texas. Does that play into this?

      Potentially. It’s been argued that the further west you are from, the more likely you are to think of it as the taint, whereas people on the East Coast think it’s a short, fat dick. When do you remember first hearing it in reference to the taint?
      Years ago.

      What do you think a “chode” is?
      Bob: I think a chode is the area between your balls and your asshole or your taint—they’re synonyms.

      Where are you from?
      Kansas City, Missouri.

      What makes you right?
      That’s just the context it’s always been used in. I don’t know how to explain why. A person can be a “chode.”

      It can also be a short, fat dick.
      No. I’ve never heard it used that way. A “stump” is a short, fat dick. But it might just be an East Coast/Midwest thing.

      VICE: What’s a “chode?”
      Zach: it’s like the back end of your testicles.

      Where are you from?
      Missouri.

      Have you ever heard it used to describe a short, fat dick?
      No.

      Vice: What’s a “chode?”
      Brandon: I think “chode” is synonymous with “‘taint” which is refereeing to the area between your asshole and your balls—for a guy, obviously.

      Obviously. Because of “balls.”
      It’s relegated to male anatomy. It is definitely used as an insult. It refers back to something that is gross.

      Women have taints, too though.
      No, they don’t. There must be another word for it but I don’t think they have a taint. They have an area, certainly.

      Where are you from?
      Brooklyn via Missouri.

      Vice: What do you think a “chode” is?
      Shira: I think “chode” refers to the space between the penis and the anus.

      Where are you from?
      Vancouver, BC.

      Have you ever heard it described as a short, chubby wang?
      No. That’s new to me.

      Vice: Care to chime in on “chode?”
      Scott: It’s the space between the ball sack and the asshole.

      Where are you from?
      Pittsburg.

      You haven’t heard the short, fat dick thing either?
      I have not heard that. I will Google it.

      Vice: What’s a “chode?”
      Tammy: I was always under the impression that “chode” referred to the penis in some form. When I first heard it I thought it was just an insult—a “dick” in general—not even necessarily short or fat.

      It’s been argued that “chode” also refers to the taint. Have you ever heard it used that way before?
      Well, if there are two definitions, there are two definitions. The actual sound of the word reflects the short, fat dick imagery to me. And anytime I’ve ever heard anyone say “chode” they definitely did not mean taint.

      Interesting. The last five people I interviewed all said it was the “‘taint” and they had never heard the other meaning.
      What? Where are you from?

      I’m from Massachusetts. Where are you from?
      I’m from California.

      Mind altering!
      Maybe it’s an East Coast/ West Coast thing.

      But based on my research thus far, the further west you travel, the more likely you are to hear “chode” in reference to the taint and the more east you travel, the more likely you are to hear it used in reference to the tuna can dong. The last people I interviewed were from the Midwest. So maybe it's a more complex distribution than I originally imagined.
      The Midwest is kind of confusing. They’re a little more easterly there.

      Brilliant.

      SEAN YEATON

      So our initial findings suggest that "chode" is predominantly a signifier for the "taint/grundle" region of the pelvis, with the "penis fatter than it is long," meaning a mere regional aberration. However, the high proportion of Midwesterners (and specifically Missourians) in our sample group may have skewed our results. If you would like to assist us in our attempt to peg down an exacting national distribution of chode meanings, please email vice@viceland.com with the definition of chode you are accustomed to and the location in which you spent the bulk of your childhood and adolescence. Thank you.

      PART 2: Chodes Across America PART 3: Chode Wars - The Third and Final Report

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