Would You Make a Deal with the Devil?
May 29 2012
Welcome to Question of the Day. It gives interns something to do!
According to the myth, legendary musician Robert Johnson made a Faustian deal with the devil and sold his soul to become a master of the blues. We totally get that. Why wouldn’t you use your priceless essence like a credit card? What’s the worst that could happen? Anyone afraid of eternal damnation has never tried to mail something from a New York Post Office—it’s much worse. We’d hand our soul over to Beelzebub for much less than Mr. Johnson, like one more peanut butter cup in the candy wrapper or three-ply toilet paper when we’re in the middle of taking an unholy squat and we realize there’s no more TP. Are there people out there as reckless and shortsighted with their souls as we are? We took to the streets of London to find out.
Shan, 24, student: Yeah, I would.
VICE: You’re not scared of the devil?
No, I would embrace him I think. I’m probably going to hell anyway. It would depend on the form he came in.
His form was that of an elderly man with a heartwarming smile and a dazzling array of tropical birds perched upon his shoulders.
Hahaha, wow! OK, I would be a bit wary, but I'd still approach him.
What kind of deal would you broker?
Just to be happy and comfortable.
Would you sign a diabolical satanic document to close the deal?
If it came down to it, I probably wouldn’t.
So you would fear out at the last minute.
Well then I guess this has just been a big waste of time, hasn't it.
Simon, 26, shop worker: This is a surprising question on a sunny afternoon. It depends what he is offering me, to be honest.
The devil likes heat, he would offer you anything you wanted.
No, I don’t think I would do it, he’s a bit of a bastard, isn’t he?
What if he looked like a kindly gentleman, and wasn't the horned beast we all expect to meet when our time comes to bow out?
No, because he would still be the devil, just with a tuxedo.
Logan, 20, student: Errrrrm, maybe it depends on what the terms would be. If it was something I really needed or something to help a member of my family, I would consider it.
So his bad rep wouldn’t put you off?
Not entirely, it pushes me away for the most part, but not 100 percent.
So you would accept his assistance if it was a real emergency?
Yeah, if there was no other way. If my mom was really ill and I could make a deal to make her live longer than me, I would do it.
That's very noble of you, Logan.
Monique, 23, writer and actress: Yeah, probably.
You wouldn’t be put off by how he fucked Judas over?
It’s never good to judge people based on other people's opinions.
Well, he’s not really a person, is he; more of a demonic entity with a reputation for orchestrating eternal torture in hell and stuff.
Errrm, I might ask him to switch the light off so I didn’t have to see his face.
His face is on fire, so that wouldn’t help. What would the deal be?
I would probably say free travel, especially in London.
Laurel, 39, artist: No.
Because if he’s willing to do a deal with me, he’s obviously seen my work.
What if he was willing to put all the terms down in a contract with no small print?
But is that not the same as doing a deal with a banker or a politician?
No, it's worse. Because this guy is Satan.
So no, in that case. There’s always a catch, though. At least the devil is open with his evilness.
Yash, 25, architect: Yeah, I’d do a deal with the devil.
Nothing would put you off?
What kind of deal would you do?
I would say make it less hot.
It’s difficult to work in this heat.
What if he conjured up a blizzard in spite?
That’s fine, I would wrap up warm.
Jo, 32, restaurant manager: Yeah.
Nothing would put you off?
What kind of a deal would you do?
Well, I would see what he has got to offer first.
Anything within the context of the seven deadly sins?
Depends if I wanted it that badly, what do I have to give him in return?
Your soul. I thought everyone knew that those are the official terms of any Faustian pact.
Just my soul? I don’t think I have one of those left so yeah, I would do it.
Would you rather do a deal with the Devil or Tony Blair?
Oh, the devil definitely. I imagine him being a lot more transparent.
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