I talked with nine OKCupid users about their favorite things to do with their body parts and things from the sea.#1[username]: hithelolivegarden: hithelolivegarden: whats ur favorite seafood[username]: sea fish!thelolivegarden: oh sea fishthelolivegarden: good one[username]: you?thelolivegarden: shrimpthelolivegarden: because they are very easy to milkthelolivegarden: also it is sensual and erotic to milk them[username]: hmmm[username]: stop exciting methelolivegarden: i agree the shrimp milking process is very excitingthelolivegarden: can u tell me about ur life experiences w/sea fish[username]: I love fish sticks[username]: I like to put them in my mouththelolivegarden: do you…thelolivegarden: you don't milk them before you dip?thelolivegarden: the milking seems essential[username]: of course I dothelolivegarden: i prefer to milk all fish before i eat itthelolivegarden: so i can enjoy a beverage and food sensation at the same timethelolivegarden: listen:thelolivegarden: how many twitter followers does your ideal sea fish have?[username]: 0thelolivegarden: 0[username]: sea fishes don't go on twitterthelolivegarden: 0thelolivegarden: jesus[username]: sea fishes fuck, eat and sleep and get eateanthelolivegarden: they…don't…tweet???thelolivegarden: they need to maintain a follower basethelolivegarden: i feelthelolivegarden: they need reinforcementthelolivegarden: to be as tender as possiblethelolivegarden: likethelolivegarden: for cevichethelolivegarden: they need to be pamperedthelolivegarden: by 100+ followersthelolivegarden: @ing themthelolivegarden: RTing themthelolivegarden: listenthelolivegarden: forget all of thatthelolivegarden: what is most important for me to know is:thelolivegarden: how many teeth do your favorite shrimp have?[username]: I want to fuck online#2[username]: hi, how are youthelolivegarden: hi i am fine plz tell me the closest you've ever gotten to touching the sexhole of a scallop#3[username]: HOLY SHIT GIRL YOU ARE KILLING ME.thelolivegarden: no brothelolivegarden: tell me about your fav place to hide shellfish[username]: probably the desert. no one's looking for shellfish therethelolivegarden: that is a good point, no one will look for fish in the desertthelolivegarden: have u ever…thelolivegarden: found a fish…thelolivegarden: in a place….thelolivegarden: THAT WAS VERY UNEXPECTED?!?!![username]: YES!thelolivegarden: TELL ME TELL ME[username]: it rained at my middle school (everywhere, really) and in this puddle outside of the science building were three or so goldfish[username]: later it was discovered just to be the mischief of another student, but the magic of the moment made social studies fly by, at least for one day.[username]: do you have any great fish stories?thelolivegarden: one time a stingray showed me all 6 sets of its teeththelolivegarden: then it made me call everyone on my contacts list on my iphonethelolivegarden: will become very aroused if you talk about your teeth[username]: oh yeah? i mean, i could just show them to youthelolivegarden: ALL OF THEM!!?!thelolivegarden: do you have dental x raysthelolivegarden: jesuss….thelolivegarden: christ,…..[username]: i mean, i couldn't show you all of all of them right now.. but most of most of them. maybe even some of all of themthelolivegarden: can u….send pics…[username]: where to?thelolivegarden: i came#4[username]: I likeuh spicy meatball!thelolivegarden: nicethelolivegarden: what celebrity would you most like to see having sex with a fish[username]: Easythelolivegarden: and what fish[username]: Salma Hayek[username]: Sturgeon[username]: so obviousthelolivegarden: where would the sturgeon penetrate herthelolivegarden: IDEALLY[username]: ass[username]: she would go down on th sturgeon[username]: you?thelolivegarden: before ass penetration??thelolivegarden: she'd suckle it?thelolivegarden: i would like it if plankton infiltrated jimmy fallonthelolivegarden: every opening on his bodythelolivegarden: can i shoot you with plankton[username]: If you have some you can.thelolivegarden: i have more than you can handlethelolivegarden: cowboy[username]: I doubt that[username]: Let's find out[username]: I need a bite of meatballs#5[username]: hey stranger[username]: having trouble sleeping?thelolivegarden: hello thank you for the IM can you please tell me how you measure up to a scallop (sexually)[username]: well, for starters i am more well endowed…#6[username]: hi therethelolivegarden: how long is your longest hair?thelolivegarden: (tails don't count but tail hair counts)[username]: i have one nipple hair thats about 6 inchesthelolivegarden: wowthelolivegarden: u are making me sexually frustratedthelolivegarden: can you please tell me everything you think about magic johnson[username]: he has aids and is good at assiststhelolivegarden: that's good/fairthelolivegarden: you have 6" body hairthelolivegarden: you are better than him[username]: would you let magic hit you?thelolivegarden: if magic johnson hit me 16 times i would not need to be hit more than 1 time by another person that yearthelolivegarden: i am getting wetthelolivegarden: do u own snakes[username]: yeah i have a pythonthelolivegarden: u dothelolivegarden: tell me…about his…marital statusthelolivegarden: a.k.a. do you let him choke other ppl besides u[username]: he has a small buttholethelolivegarden: can u tell me his cup size[username]: SSSSthelolivegarden: jesus..thelolivegarden: that's so big[username]: duhthelolivegarden: i want him to choke me with his SSSS tittysthelolivegarden: can u mail him to me[username]: k addy?thelolivegarden: i live underwater[username]: dzaaaamthelolivegarden: is he an underwater pythonthelolivegarden: so hard to find ppl/snakes to choke me bc a lot of them are not underwater#7[username]:hiya. your username is phenomenal. the pizza tattoo is a gamechangerthelolivegarden: u have a probelm w/pizza???????thelolivegarden: talk to me about your favorite dolphinsthelolivegarden: that you've knownthelolivegarden: biblically[username]: dolphins are the gayest of the animal kingdomthelolivegarden: what animal has the most STDs[username]: pandas[username]: or snakesthelolivegarden: what animal has the tightest pussy?thelolivegarden: (u cannot say thom yorke)[username]: catsthelolivegarden: oh[username]: from my experience anywaythelolivegarden: OH CATSthelolivegarden: I SEEthelolivegarden: this conversation is overthelolivegarden: i suggest u listen to ska[username]: hahaha[username]: i do listen to skathelolivegarden: and grow as a person[username]: i dictate the terms here[username]: not you[username]: let's be clear!!!!thelolivegarden: u have canadian cheese on ur brain[username]: yummmmm[username]: you are sexythelolivegarden: tell me about your limbs[username]: all in tact[username]: all double jointed[username]: all strong[username]: what about yours!!!thelolivegarden: my areolas are so hard[username]: you are such a catchthelolivegarden: u r like the best catch of shrimp i ever caughtthelolivegarden: i am a shrimp boat personthelolivegarden: i am lieutenant dan[username]: thats my fav movie[username]: now i love you back[username]: i am so aroused[username]: oh my godthelolivegarden: i am so happy to hear you love me[username]: #$%$thelolivegarden: i love you sp muchthelolivegarden: i am growing a dickthelolivegarden: omgthelolivegarden: i am growing a dick…thelolivegarden: somehow…thelolivegarden: bc i love you…[username]: fuck you[username]: i hate youthelolivegarden: TAKE ME TO RED LOBSTER[username]: no[username]: fuck youthelolivegarden: BUY ME A FLOUNDER PLATTER[username]: fuck you[username]: FUCK YOU#8[username]: i just wanted to thank you for your username. i've had a long day and the chuckle i got from it was much needed.thelolivegarden: I LOVE YOU WILL YOU TAKE ME TO CARRABBAS FOR FRESH LOBSTER ENTREE $13.99thelolivegarden: why arent you answering methelolivegarden: i can sue youthelolivegarden: i will sue you for not answering methelolivegarden: my father is a powerful lawyer[username]: lol, sorry, i wasn't signed in. that's why i wasn't able to reply. what's carrabbas?#9[username]: might i interest you in a dry humpable?thelolivegarden: how long are your forearmsthelolivegarden: (in inches, please)[username]: hmmm let me check[username]: 10 inches[username]: 20 if you add them togetherthelolivegarden: jesusthelolivegarden: jesus…thelolivegarden: u sound very sexy[username]: actually more like 9thelolivegarden: 9 is still okay[username]: yeah… im defined by my forearmsthelolivegarden: how many shrimps do u think u could fit on ur forearms[username]: oh jeez… theres no telling… esp. if i could stack themthelolivegarden: erthelolivegarden: jesusthelolivegarden: stacking[username]: how many can you fit[username]: you are the pro and allthelolivegarden: i didn't think about stacking…thelolivegarden: i am not a prothelolivegarden: i am just getting into this scenethelolivegarden: i could fit 4 jumbo shrimps on my forearmsthelolivegarden: ***not including stacking**thelolivegarden: christ…thelolivegarden: how many would you stack on methelolivegarden: and where you woud stack themthelolivegarden: getting…wet…[username]: well id stand you on your head and cram them in between you butt checks until they hit da roof!thelolivegarden: how many shrimpthelolivegarden: total[username]: um prolly like 17 -22[username]: then to top it all off… id sit on your facethelolivegarden: so you'd have shrimp coming out of your ass and penis holes?thelolivegarden: onto my face?[username]: you are the oddest person iv talked to on here[username]: by far[username]: not sure if its spectacle or you just have a bizarre sense of humorthelolivegarden: just answer my question seriously[username]: ok[username]: ask awaythelolivegarden: from what body part of yours would i receive the shrimpthelolivegarden: when you're sitting on my face[username]: well… id mince them up and cram them in your nostrils[username]: and shove them under my balls of coarsethelolivegarden: ohthelolivegarden: into my nose and from your balls[username]: um probably my pee holethelolivegarden: so they'd be like behind your balls[username]: thats where i like my shrimpthelolivegarden: and you'd just…they'd be minced…thelolivegarden: you'd place them by handthelolivegarden: from your balls to inside methelolivegarden: i seethelolivegarden: that is very good[username]: i trythelolivegarden: i have to go masturbatethelolivegarden: goodbyePreviously - Philadelphia's Sexiest Places to Tell Your Parent's They're Remembering Something Wrong@meganboyle
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