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The North Korean Haircut Mandate Is Totally on Brand

Kim Jong-un is enforcing a mandated haircut for all adult males. It's not pretty.

Photo via Flickr User petersnoopy

According to some tenuous reports, Kim Jong-un issued a mandate two weeks ago that all university students in North Korea must get his haircut, reinforcing that uniquely North Korean brand of oh-fuck-that's-creepy.

Savvy marketers know that the best brands tell complete, consistent stories in which every consumer touchpoint connects to the bigger brand story arc. In the case of North Korea, we're talking about a nation-brand, so this is a brand that has two different demographics: those within the country and those outside of it. Inside North Korea, the consumer is engaged with content reminding him that the nation is powerful and loving. Outside of North Korea, the reputation is of a country full of brainwashed, malnourished, abused people controlled by a petulant, spiteful, ineffective, and frequently embarrassing leadership. Forcing all adult men to share the same haircut as their dictator is an effective way to reinforce that image to both demographics.

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Among brand strategists, the Kim family are regarded as visionaries. They know how to control a narrative. North Korea is a special place. As the last example of a cult-of-personality utopia, such as the Soviet Union brand under Stalin or China under Mao, the Kim family leaders are worshiped not just as heroes but as gods. Those in the marketing industry would refer to this as a "controlled brand environment."

Statue of Kim Il-sung. Photo via Flickr User Roman Harek

This environment began with Kim Il-sung, who, after being installed by Soviet leadership at the close of the Korean War, consolidated his power with his core demographic by producing consistent content that stayed on-brand with the message, Your leader is supreme and heavenly, and he is a master of all trades, and he loves you. Some even came to believe that Kim Il-sung controlled the sun and the weather, which is a great example of an especially engaged active user base. At the same time, Kim Il-sung purged any brand detractors from within by force and then—and this part is brilliant marketing—blamed it on his competitors, the Americans. That's just masterful storytelling.

As a result of these efforts, this is a demo that is very engaged with the North Korea brand and the Kim family. The worshipful engagement remains extensive. In 2012, a 14-year-old girl drowned during her attempts to save a portrait of Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il from a flood at her school. The North Korean people's brand of fervent worship extended to Kim Il-sung's son, Kim Jong-Il, when he assumed power and then again now, after his passing, to his heir, Kim Jong-un. What we know about Kim Jong-un is only what we infer from his actions. We know that, like his father, he's obsessed with basketball. We know that he loves missiles with nuclear capabilities just as much as his father did. And now with the apparent haircut mandate, we know he has a knack for branding like his grandfather.

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Photo via Flickr User Roman Harek

North Korean fashion-policing is nothing new. Under Kim Jong-il, in 2005 the state media ran a five-part television special called Let’s Trim Our Hair in Accordance with the Socialist Lifestyle (excellent title) that directed viewers to choose from one of a handful of conservative hairstyle options. The special was part of an overall campaign against Western fashion influence, particularly men with long hair, labeling them unhygienic anti-socialist fools and “blind followers of bourgeois lifestyle.”

Men are required to keep their hair no longer than two inches, although older men get a small exemption to allow for comb-overs.

Since science is something the Kim family can and will shape however they see fit, the special claimed that long hair harms “human intelligence development” because long hair takes oxygen away from nerves in the head. It didn’t explain why women were allowed to grow long hair, leaving the viewer to conclude on their own that women are simply less developed, obviously.

A separate but similarly themed special had a hidden-camera segment that caught violators of the rule, like a To Catch a Predator for haircut violations. The show even identified violators by name and address, exposing them to ridicule from peers, as a warning of what might happen if you didn’t fall in line.

Not everyone is on board with Kim Jong-un’s directive, however, making some North Korea brand loyalists into brand questioners. They say it looks dorky. They say the haircut looks like that of Chinese smugglers. Those consumers better think about getting their content to shut the fuck up if they like their personal brand being "not living in a prison labor camp."

Women, however, are still free to choose from any one of the 14 state-sanctioned haircuts.

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