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Genitales

This Man Is Trying to Start a Small-Dick Acceptance Movement

By Monica Heisey

Ant Smith, singing about his baby dick. Photo courtesy of Ant Smith

Genitales is a series where we explore the untold stories of our genitals. For our inaugural column, we talked to men about dick size; next, we interviewed women about their vaginas. Here, we focus on one man who is on a crusade for penis size acceptance.

Ant Smith has a small penis. He has written a poem about it. The poem is called “My Small Penis” and is excerpted throughout this post.

I have a tiny cock
Like a crooked little finger
Everybody else's dick
Is inevitably bigger

The 47-year-old engineering manager from London was one of the 55 men who responded to Genitales’ first junk-related survey, and thinks a lot about his dick: “My anxiety over my dick size is a companion in my life that visits me at least daily,” he writes on his website. Or at least, it used to.

If six inch as an average
Can truly be believed
Someone here in this room
Is twice the size of me

Ant is unreserved and incredibly direct when talking about his dick, although he prefers to call it his willy—as he puts it, “it doesn't seem to deserve aggressive terms like cock or dick.” When we talked willies, he said, “For most of my life I've been subconsciously very shy about it. Now, I really love my dick. It's like if I can't be hung like a horse I'd rather be a bit special for being kinda small than average. Who wants to be average?”

If you can do your algebra
Already you will know
Four inches is the maximum
My dick will ever go

Soft, his penis is no longer than an inch at maximum. Hard, it gets to be four inches or so—not a micropenis, but certainly smaller than average. “I think I’m in the lower five percent of men, or less,” he said. “Certainly I don’t know anyone personally smaller.” He was 18 the first time he really noticed his penis was small. “[I was] play wrestling with my best mate, as you do. At one point, quite naughtily, he squeezed one of my balls and made me submit in the match... Then he said "You don't have much there, do you?" That's the first time it was in the open. And I had to accept it.”

My pubes are even longer
They make a comfy nest
With a little acorn sat
Upon the very crest

A self-portrait of his penis. Illustration by Ant Smith

Ant said that despite that late realization, he’d always “exhibited behaviors that you'd expect from a guy embarrassed about having a tiny cock (e.g. using the stall rather than the urinal in public toilets). "At school, aged 13, I'd get changed for gym swapping trousers for shorts before taking my overcoat off. I didn't consciously know I was embarrassed about my 'button dick' then—but looking back, that had to be the reason. Honestly, I always hid my embarrassment more from myself than from others. I was the king of suppression. It was such a crushing thing, I hid it from even myself.”

Searching frantically
I recover just the head
Get a little piss drip
Up on my finger tip
There's absolutely nothing there
For me to get a grip

A penis this size does pose its share of problems. “Condoms don’t fit well and often slip off, and shame about the size often makes me undress in the dark or under the covers when being intimate,” he said. “When sat at the toilet, it doesn't hang, so if I forget to stretch it and push it down the stream shoots forward and wets my trousers.” Despite what sounds like a fairly high frequency of teen fingering, Ant was too nervous to lose his virginity until he was 20. “When faced with it... I felt extra-human. Not sub or super human, but something different. Something apart from real people,” he said, adding that he was more afraid of what others thought than his own opinions about his junk. “I've always actually really liked my own dick, but I've kept it as a secret to myself.”

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick
But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!

Ant said he finds himself fixated on penises as a result of his smaller size. “My attitude to my small dick has subconsciously led me to suffer penis envy so that I am fascinated by 'real men's dicks' and feel very submissive in comparison. [This] has driven me to sexual acts with men, but I think I'm more submissive in those terms rather than genuinely bi.”

I wank it with one finger
If you really want to know
And no, I can't imagine
The feeling of deep throat

Now, Ant is on something of a size-acceptance crusade. “At 47, I finally started talking about my tiny willy. I started to tell a friend and he said he suffered anxiety too. I asked his size and he said six inches. I thought, Christ—that a man on the high end of average should suffer so is ridiculous. I determined then that this was a major body dysmorphic issue for men. If I dared to say ‘I'm a babydick’ other men would feel better, and get a more realistic image. I also thought, How can I ask my wife to love me when I hate myself?”

With this in mind, he sat down and wrote “My Small Penis,” which he has since performed at venues across the UK.

Sometimes it is inverted
Even when it isn't cold
Like a little turtle
Inside of me it goes
Girls they like to tell me
It' such a cute surprise
Until I have to tell them
I left the condom stuck inside

“As soon as I wrote the first draft of the poem that fully explored all of the experiences I've had with my small cock I knew I had to perform it, that if I'd performed other pieces but bottled this I'd lose any credibility I might have as a poet or an artist or a person,” he said. “I've always pushed boundaries with my poetry. And much of it has been about the joy of being in an intellectually and sexually stimulating partnership. My wife has been unfortunately embarrassed on occasion when I've been extolling the virtues of her cum guzzling abilities, onstage. As a poet I value truth above all else. But it is easy to sell a truth that embarrasses others, not yourself.”

I'm hung like Mickey Mouse
I'm glad now to admit
For the greater pain exists
In propagating myths
According to the internet
Real men have massive dicks

Ant said the response to his poem has been overwhelmingly positive. “The first time I performed it I was blushing beet red, even on the London tube train heading to the gig. It was the most difficult thing I have ever done. But it really worked. Not one person laughed in my face and called me a dickless bitch. They got it. And every time I perform it I get at least one very earnest handshake from a guy.”

So if you're sat with five or six, then
Feel the relief
You no longer have to hide it
In shame and misery

The poem is intended to be tongue-in-cheek look at small dicks, by small dicks, for small dicks—the FUBU of the barely-hung. Ant said a sense of humor is crucial to size acceptance, and joked about his own dick throughout our correspondence. “I really, really do have, the most beautiful little cock. It ain't twisted bent crooked angry... It's a cock that could make a princess's jaw drop,” he said. “You just have to imagine it isn't small, just far away. Haha!”

I'm the living proof you've got
Way more than you need
For even with four inches
My girl's in love with me

Does our society place too much emphasis on penis size? Ant doesn’t think the topic is the issue. “We place too much emphasis on fantasy monster dicks and not enough on the reality. I think variety is glorious and should be celebrated. Guys with nine-inch dicks should stand up proud and flaunt it [and] not worry about making me feel bad, because I don't and I don't need to. If everyone was free and easy about their size there'd be less judgement. We should talk more about penis size!”

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick
But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!
Yes!
He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick
But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!

Now, Ant’s looking for 48 men willing to pose (clothed) with objects roughly proportional to their dick size as a visual accompaniment to his poem, in the hopes of creating a viral message of penis size acceptance. He hopes the video will spread and with it, a renewed interest in human, humorous conversations about genitals. “The more people that know [I have] a four inch dick and don't give a shit, the more guys with five and six inch dicks are going to stop worrying about their size,” he said. “I want the world to know Ant Smith has a little willy and it just doesn't matter!”

Read the full text of "My Small Penis" here.

Follow Monica Heisey on Twitter.

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