What's More Important: Fried Chicken or Animal Rights?
Jan 11 2013
After saving up throughout his entire summer, British teenager Olly Tyler bought (not rented—bought) an $1100 chicken suit and headed to his local KFC to protest how their chickens are reared for their delicious spicy wings and pieces. The diners at that particular KFC were Colonel loyalists, and responded to Olly by throwing packets of sauce, wings, and nuggets at him, before one patron punched him in the head and another two men jumped from their car and rugby tackled him to the ground.
So it seems, even in this Pamela Anderson-approved PETA age of battery cage awareness, fast food chains still have their fans. Their weirdly aggressive, over-eager fans. That got us thinking: what's more important: fried chicken or animal rights?
Really? You're not just saying that?
Nah, honestly. I try not to eat at KFC or shop at big chains if I can help it.
That's good, I suppose.
Interestingly, I was in Japan over Christmas and found out that KFC has sort of persuaded the Japanese that it’s a Western tradition to have a family bucket of chicken for Christmas dinner. So there are massive lines to get in and they dress the Colonel up as Santa. I couldn’t believe it, but it’s a good marketing ploy. Whoever came up with it is a genius.
Jawa: It’s a really difficult question, because I wholly believe that we should eat meat. But the way they produce the meat is disgusting—battery farming and battery henning. Ugh, horrible. Free range chickens and all that are good, but I'd never eat at KFC. You’d have to be retarded.
So you never eat at KFC?
Nah, never. Not McDonald's, not KFC. No way. I eat real food, thanks.
All right. Do you think people should be aware of how their chickens are treated?
Well, I grew up with a family who cooked. I didn't have a lazy mom or a lazy dad who’d be like, "All right, we’re eating McDonald's tonight, here’s your pile of shit." I ate fresh food, so having two good chefs around inspired me to cook. Even when I’m wasted, I’d rather go to a kebab shop and eat a shish kebab, which is gonna be a lot healthier and you’re not gonna have the shits the next day.
Wise, if not slightly smug words.
Joanne, graphic designer: Animal rights! I never go to KFC. It’s disgusting.
What about McDonald's?
Erm, every now and again, yeah.
Is that because of ethical reasons? Or just because you don't like KFC’s food?
Actually, I rarely even have McDonald's, to be fair. I only have it maybe once a year, and only when I’m hanging. I’m very healthy. Look, I’m powerwalking on my lunch break.
It’s OK, we believe you.
Howard, works in advertising: Animal rights.
Do you ever eat at KFC?
Is that purely for ethical reasons?
Have you ever taken part in any animal rights protests?
Would you ever consider it?
OK, fair enough. I'll leave you alone now.
Patricia, marketing manager: KFC!
Finally, some balance. Do you not care about the ethical stuff, then?
It’s not that I don’t care about it, but, I mean, I’m literally holding a bag full of fried chicken right now. I guess if they could maybe find a way of keeping KFC but treating the animals better, that would be a happy medium.
Would you be willing to pay a bit more for free range KFC?
Yeah, I’d pay, like, $1 more.
Oh, that's good. So, if you came out of KFC and found someone protesting outside, would you throw chicken at them?
No! I’d maybe offer him some chicken, but I wouldn’t throw anything at him.
I'm not sure if he’d really appreciate that, but I guess it’s the thought that counts.
Previously - What Will Robots Be Doing in 50 Years?
The Crack-Smoking Crime Reporter Who Covered America's Crack Epidemic
What the Fuck Is Going on in 'Lucy'?
The Story of Colorado's DIY Skater Tattoo Parlor
Meet Ratchet Regi, the Ratchet Queen of the Gathering of the Juggalos
Missouri Is a Pill Lover's Paradise
Journalists and Attorneys Are Increasingly Adopting Spycraft
I Attended a Juggalo Wedding at the Gathering of the Juggalos
I Hunted Feral Hogs in Florida as a Favor to the World
My Week with Sydney
Reasons Why Comic-Con Is the Worst Place Ever