Last year, thieves robbed California nut companies to the tune of $4.6 million. Now that they've gotten a taste of that sweet nut money, they're hooked.
A tool-loving 19-year-old became a cautionary tale after getting amorous with a handheld electrical grinder.
I went from having an undescended testicle to having a full set of bizarrely placed balls to having a really strange-looking scrotum.
If you didn't care about climate change before, maybe a cheese and wine shortage will change that.
Dunkin' Donuts is a one-stop shop for old people, chubby policemen, and a number of defectives who've somehow made it into adulthood. It's also a magnet for antisocial behavior. Those doughnuts make 'em go nuts!
Sorry I went Earl Sweatshirt on you for a few months. But I'm back. You haven't missed much—just babies getting their nipples twisted off, strip clubs giving away turkeys, a ton of cocaine, and ladies riding manatees.
I lay on my couch, naked, staring at the RealTouch and reminiscing about the one time I tried to have sex with a vagina, my erection deflated like a popped balloon the moment my friend Kelly put on a cowboy hat and pressed my dick against her baby hole.
Learn how to dress for success, or at least how to hide the fact that you are a premature ejaculator.
This week Alex Gordon got a ball in the nuts and Lawrence Taylor earned more money to pay for his underage prostitutes.