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The Education Issue

Hippy Fascists

Michael Moore can be irritating at times. Bowling for Columbine was an inaccurate turd of a film.
Κείμενο Chubby Hess

See that swastika on her forehead? Max Horkheimer taught her how to do that. Photo from AP.

Michael Moore can be irritating at times. Bowling for Columbine was an inaccurate turd of a film, but it's hard to find fault with Fahrenheit 9/11. Unfortunately, when critics discuss Moore all they can come up with is what a fat pig he is. Or when Bush is criticized, one of the most common traits people point out is that he's a Nazi. Michael Moore is a self-obsessed diva who is more concerned with conveying savvy satire than being an accurate political analyst. Who fucking cares if he's overweight? George Bush is a shameless pawn in the intensely corrupt world of big-business oil and Israeli advocacy. He is not a German soldier from WWII that wants to kill Jews, homos and circus freaks. Ostensibly, people yell out "fatso" and "Nazi" during debates simply because they are not sophisticated enough to focus on the argument, but the truth is much weirder than that. People resort to name-calling and shallow rhetoric because Marxists taught their hippy parents to do it back in the 50s and 60s, and it just kind of stuck. Before WWI the Marxists were having a gay old time talking about "the proletariat" and "the power of organizing the working man against the empire." Everything seemed to make sense on paper, but when the war arrived the Marxists instructed the working man not to go. After all, "It is not the proletariat's war." When the working class told the Marxists to shove their fancy books up their ass, the Marxists were gobsmacked. After much goatee-stroking, it was decided they couldn't use the working man to dismantle the system. He was too dumb. They needed someone dumber. Around 1930 a man named Max Horkheimer took over the leading Marxist think tank: The Frankfurt School. He devised a bright new future for the Marxists, a new dupe for them to play with: students. These kids were just pretentious enough to fall for the most convoluted commie bullshit, and they were rich and spoiled enough to carry it out. When WWII came along, the school got scared and moved to America, where it set up a new headquarters and invented a hodgepodge of ideas it would roll into American universities like a Trojan Horse. The capitalist swine were fucked. One of the Frankfurter's new toys was this thing called "Critical Theory." Now a mainstay in every college on earth, Critical Theory was defined as "essentially destructive criticism of all the main elements of Western culture, including capitalism, the family, patriarchy, hierarchy, morality, tradition, sexual restraint, loyalty, patriotism, nationalism, heredity, and ethnocentrism." Sound like your school? That's because it is. The baby boomer hippies were so rich and full of themselves, they ate up the Frankfurt School's doctrine like pot brownies and now it's gospel. Critical Theory meant you could fuck and smoke pot and never have to worry about saying anything valid. If someone had a problem with what you said, they were a "fucking fascist trying to control the youth." It's a student's wet dream. We hate him as much as you do, but calling Bush a Nazi is pure Frankfurt School. Check out the party line they laid down in 1943: "Members and front organizations must continually embarrass, discredit and disgrace our critics. When obstructionists become too irritating, label them as fascist, or Nazi or anti-Semitic…The association will, after enough repetition, become ‘fact' in the public mind." And this is the way of the Western college student. All is for the greater good. All is for the revolution. If taking a shit on someone's character will help facilitate the revolution, then so be it—whatever it takes to win. The only difference between 2004 and 1965 is, now kids from all over the political spectrum have resorted to this pussy tactic. Moore is dumb because he's fat, and if you don't agree, you're a Nazi. Facts are secondary. It's all about expressing the right emotions. That is why, to this day, American students are some of the most sensitive and passionate illiterates in the world.