Boomers We Like

Drawing by Hope Gangloff

The boomers we like are doers, not talkers. They get up off the couch, turn off the Marvin Gaye CD, get in their Saab, and go do stuff no matter how unpopular it makes them. Look at Bill Cosby. This giant-balled man sees a nation of black kids excited to drop out of school and pursue rap or sports (i.e. entertain white people) and dares to point out that it’s a waste of time. There are almost 90,000 black doctors in America but only a few thousand blacks in professional sports and a mere handful making money in rap. Therefore, he concludes, it’s time to listen to people like Barack Obama when they say, “We need to eradicate the slander that says a black youth with a book is acting white.” World on Fire author Amy Chua is another boomer that dares to tell it like it is. She goes deep into the only thing America refuses to question—democracy—and gives a hundred examples why the world isn’t ready for it. You can impose democracy on Russia tomorrow, for example, and they will vote for the first guy that promises to get rid of “The Jew Problem.” It’s a bitter pill to swallow but most countries are way too racist to handle freedom. Boomers don’t know that because they don’t go anywhere. They just read fiction in the Hamptons and imagine how great it would be to buy the world a Coke. Not CNN’s Christiane Amanpour. If she’s curious about a place, she just straps on a bulletproof vest and jumps into the fray. She can talk about it now because she’s been there. Like Gulf War vet Steve Robinson. Holy shit does he ever know everything about veterans and what hospitals they’re at and what rights are being violated and what lobbyists are fighting for them and what congressmen to talk to. Ralph Nader's the same way. The guy's truck looks like a giant fucking filing cabinet exploded in it, and if you grab any random piece of paper and ask him about it he'll know exactly what you're talking about. He is one of the few politicians that actually takes the time to really sort through all this boring bureaucratic bullshit. After he read the WTO agreement, he offered $10,000 to any member of Congress to do the same. Nobody took him up on it. Quebecois punk-folk singer Plume LaTraverse is another one who’s not in it for the “me” and genuinely cares. When he exploded in the 70s he could have easily taken advantage of the attention but instead he quietly played shows, shunned interviews, and opened a local tavern called Inspecteur Épingle (Inspector Safety Pin) where people could go talk to him any time they wanted. Bruce Springsteen was the New Jersery equivalent. If you don’t believe us go put on “Atlantic City,” “Badlands,” or “Thunder Road.” Okay, that’s seven. The rest need to die. QUENTIN GONZABLE