NFL
Thank You NFL for Saving Our Sundays
Football has started, and football football football. Also, Chipper Jones gets a gift, some Duke basketball guy is in court for having too much awesome jewelry, and there might not be hockey this season.
Brandon Jacobs Called My Friend a "Lil Watermelon Head Ass"
San Francisco 49ers running back Brandon Jacobs is a bipolar socialite when it comes to interacting with fans. One minute he’s parading around a bounce house with a six-year-old and another he's insulting my dimwit friend on Twitter. In other words, he...
Saturday Night, No Cover
The NFL finally gets underway on Wednesday, college football is back in earnest, the Red Sox have had a rough 162 games, no more hockey, and other ball business.
The Giant Insane People of the NFL Are Back, Finally
Professional football is played at speeds too fast for the viewer to follow what is happening. The games are too long and the stop-and-start action is constantly interrupted by homophobic, misogynistic beer ads. The rules are bizarre. And the game...
Big Surprise – Wide Receivers Get Arrested a Lot
It’s no secret that NFL players get arrested a lot, but why? I created an Excel sheet detailing the 75 reported arrests of NFL players since 2011. I broke down each arrest by the following criteria: Date of Arrest, player name, violation, position, and...
Dickey on Fire
R.A. Dickey has the fastest knuckleball in baseball history and will be ruining the lives of hitters until they're eventually replaced with robots.
God Hates Beds
This week God spoke to former NFL player Kevin Ellison and told him to torch his bed with a blunt.
The Wide World of Balls - Haha, Dude Got Hit in the Sack!
This week Alex Gordon got a ball in the nuts and Lawrence Taylor earned more money to pay for his underage prostitutes.
This Week in Balls - May 7, 2012
Lots of balls this week, including Jim Harden's of the Thunder. Which makes us wonder, are his balls as semi-Dan Haggis hairy as his face?
This Week in Balls - May 2, 2012
Racist hockey tweets, the Brooklyn Nets, the NFL draft, and more in the column with the biggest balls of them all.
This Week in Balls - April 9, 2012
Tim Tebow drew 15,000 people when he spoke at a Texas church on Easter Sunday. There is no word yet on whether he turned water into wine.