romance
Men Love a Good Pee Gargler
Ever since I sloshed my own urine around in my mouth I've been up to my neck in dick and balls.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - How to Stay a Virgin
Tell him you’ll make him a pumpkin loaf that is even better than sex! Then let him fuck a pumpkin loaf.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Dirty Secrets
“We need to talk and I don’t want to do ‘pillow talk’ where I talk while you just go to sleep.”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Office Romance
“I’d love to give you a raise, but my dick signs all the checks."
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Open Relationships
Get her to agree that you can have sex with celebrities, then define celebrity as “anyone who has a blog.”
Begging in the Street for Love
There's a man standing at a market in London waiting for you to propose to him.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - The Letdown
Remember, they call it being dumped for a reason: Because you are now a human trash pile.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Saying I Love You
"Remember when I said I had puppy love for you? Well, I killed that puppy. In a bag. With a hammer."
The Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast Is a Real Boner Killer
Don’t take dates to haunted houses because it will only make them nauseous and cry and then they won’t sleep with you.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Do They Fancy Me?
We’ve all experienced that thing where we’re not sure if a guy really likes us or is just trying to sell us bottled water on the highway.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - First-Time Sex
Women are biologically pre-disposed to fall in love with anything that enters their lower body, which is why lawmakers have made it illegal for a woman to marry a tampon.