romance
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Two for One
Make sure she gets the hint and leaves her toothbrush where it belongs: at home.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Family Vacation
Meeting someone’s family is like inspecting their butthole—kind of awkward, but also the fastest way to know where their shit comes from.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Boinking and Bunking
In love with your roommate? Watching her while she sleeps is a nice, non-creepy way to say, “Hey, I care about you.”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Neverending Weed
“If you think about it, my penis is kinda like a bong, but please don’t light my balls on fire like last time.”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Stay Together Forever
Just like a real marathon, you need to rub some Vaseline on your nipples and be prepared to diarrhea all over the finish line.
Lies Everyone Tells on Dating Sites
The only way your penis is 6.5 inches is if you measure from the top of your chocolate starfish, through the entire taint, over the balls, up the shaft, and an inch past the tip.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Unforgettable
You need a brand for yourself that people will remember! Try giving yourself a tagline like, “Brian Simpson: Blastin’ Quads and Blowin’ Wads.”
Who Gets to Keep the Ring?
Before you jump on the woman's side here, have you priced engagement rings recently?
Take a Stroll... with Rob Delaney - The Pickup
Because you're a personal friend of mine, I wanted to share with you some pickup lines that I've used over the years.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Parlez-Vous Romance?
Want to attract a foreigner on the street? Ask them for directions on a map of Florida. It might be confusing, but it’ll let them know you’re easily lost and like things shaped like a dick.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Coy Attraction
Look yourself in the mirror and say, “God made flirts and flirts don’t squirt!” then slap yourself across the face.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Together Too Long
Spice things up! Try this: “I’ve hired a clown to watch us make love."