stories

  • The First Annual Story Awards - Rock And Roll

    I was leaving Portland’s premier venue when the saxophonist from local cabaret-rock act muttered some cheeky little remark to me. I dropped the nut on him, knocking his two front teeth out and leaving him unable to play his instrument, for which I am...

  • The First Annual Story Awards - Wtf?!?

    When I broke up with my boyfriend I was left tenderhearted and frail. He cheated on me with some fat bitch and it seemed as though our relationship had run its course. On the upside, I had lost so much weight that my favorite bikini now fit me.

  • The First Annual Story Awards - Ewww!!

    I was 19 and living in a glorified toilet block with two mates-Liam who didn't really live with us but kept his mattress in the lounge and paid rent sometimes, and Big Ben who was the complete opposite: A giant hermit with a surly disposition.

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  • A Cop's Life: Rookie To Retiree In 20 Years

    The typical NYPD career takes a well-trod course. You go to school, you get assigned to a random post somewhere in the five boroughs, you do a few years there, then you make detective or take a civil service test and become a sergeant.

  • "I Am a Cop."

    I am a street cop. I'm the guy that straps on a bullet resistant (we never say "bulletproof") vest and gun belt every day. I am the guy in the uniform driving the car that says NYPD on the side.

  • "I Am a Cop."

    I am a cop. I go to work in the morning just like any guy. I may drink some coffee and drive around, or it can be ACTION ACTION ACTION all day long. You never know.

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  • I Am a Copper

    I am a British street Police Constable and I've worked all over London from Kentish Town to Oval and Brixton. I am the person who turns up if you’re assaulted by a drunk in the street or if there’s been a burglary or there are drug addicts partying in...

  • Vice Fashion - Cop Encounters

    We'd been smoking like Indians all day long. I was so out of it I felt like I was coming down with an extra chromosome. The police appeared out of nowhere and, at least to me, for no apparent reason.

  • The Road To Euphoria

    There were thirty thousand tabs of Ecstasy in three clear plastic bags on the coffee table between us.