Thomas Morton
Medieval Slimes
According to sources such as Hollywood, history textbooks, and the word on the street, the Middle Ages were a thousand-year grunge revival in which everybody walked around covered in fleas and mud.
Trip Report: I Went to Lit Sober
The Lit Lounge, if you aren't from New York, is a leering black hole from which few memories escape intact. If the standard, workaday memory is already 50 percent confabulation, the average Lit memory is about eight frames of reality cobbled together...
Uganda Look at This Slideshow?
I've been here for a week during an ebola outbreak, which by broadcast news standards makes me an expert on Ugandan culture, politics, and society. So here is a definitive pictorial guide to the country "The Last King of Scotland" was set in.
The VICE Guide to Ugandan Sex Slang
Hope this helps you understand that Ugandans are freer fuckers than you and me. I also hope it helps you find love next time you find yourself in the Four Kingdoms of the Great West Nile Republic. Just mind the AIDS please.
I'm Scared of Storks
Look at this thing. Who let this happen? A vulture scrotum poking out of a mantle of filthy feathers affixed to a two-foot-long pair of rusted old scissors?
The Best Newspaper on Earth
Uganda ranks 139 out of 170 in press freedom according to Reporters Without Borders, which must be some sort of French counting error because they publish the single greatest newspaper in the world, Red Pepper.
Dear VICE - Grass Widow Wants Nothing to Do with You
"I read VICE's review of Grass Widow's record, and can't restrain myself from telling you that I find it fucking gross and despicable that you would run that excrement."
Something, Something, Something, Detroit
After suffering through the nation's worst and most concentrated examples of racial violence, industrial collapse, serial arson, crack war, and municipal bankruptcy following years of municipal kleptocracy, Detroit is being descended on by a plague of...
Medieval Slimes
According to sources such as Hollywood, history textbooks, and the word on the street, the Middle Ages were a thousand-year grunge revival in which everybody walked around covered in fleas and mud.
If You Post Pictures of Your Naked Girlfriend...
Do you think making art is more like masturbating to web porn or having sex with a beautiful girl?
Finally
I'm generally into the idea of "standing up for nature" and "not turning the planet into an uninhabitable trashball," but the thing that's always kept me at arm's length from environmentalism is how completely selfish the better part of its proponents...
Oh, This Is Great
I'm not one of those guys who corners folks at parties to rant at them about biodiesel or calls people "fucking idiots" for being skeptical about global warming. But I should also point out that I'm not one of those Andrew Dice Clay "Fuck the whales...