Annons
Annons
Annons
Annons
Jessica*, a Fine Art graduate, has suffered with the disorder on and off ever since she was a child. Since the age of 18, though, she's found it increasingly debilitating."I find myself really longing to feel sad or angry, as these are such refreshing and healthy surges of energy as compared to the emotional wasteland that is depersonalisation," she tells me. "I have often struggled to create work because I have felt too numb and consequently have had no urge to create anything. This has been a huge source of frustration to me."Her methods of coping include maintaining a healthy lifestyle and finding release in early morning runs, swimming, cooking and listening to music with heavy bass, which she can feel. These, she says, anchor her in reality and help her overcome the visceral sense that everything is "made of cardboard".Seven years later, I still live with DPD. I've never been able to shake it completely. Yet, over the years it has eased; I find myself most at peace when I'm outside, particularly in the countryside. The symptoms only become really uncomfortable when I'm tired or hungover. But I can't help but feel that my recovery was hindered a lot by the "experts" I initially saw in Texas. They took sips from Coca Cola cans and nodded approvingly while I sat on the sofa quietly being swallowed.Herein lies the issue with the disorder: people just don't know what it is. This lack of awareness, even among mental health professionals, leads those living with it to feel isolated, fearful and convinced that things will never get better.
Annons