We Spoke to the Lady Who Sold an Unwashed Towel from MK on eBay for £10,100

The towel, on eBay

Used chewing gum, allegedly masticated by Britney Spears was sold on eBay in 2004 for $14,000. A tissue that Scarlett Johansson huskily deposited snot into - presumably buxom snot but snot none the less - was auctioned off for $5,300. Is there no end to what dubious celebrity excretions people will max out their PayPal for? Apparently not.

A towel used after a recent club appearance by Mark Kinchen aka MK, the American DJ and house producer responsible for 90s hits such as “Burning”, Lana Del Rey remixes, and um, production on DreamWorks’ Shark’s Tale, has just sold on eBay for £10,100. Having learned enough from forensic investigation programmes on Channel 5 to maybe get a certificate, I have some qualms about this. Firstly, if the towel is still unwashed as is claimed, is it going to smell like PE kit? Having incubated the effluent of a performer whose sweat is likely to consist entirely of energy drinks and Diesel cologne, then been left to recline in its juices, I can't imagine it to be olafactorily pleasant. When I zoomed into the extremely low resolution image of the towel, the pixels screamed rayon, not cotton. And the Marc Kinchen I know would never use rayon. It may in fact just be a monogrammed towel from Milton Keynes' Hilton Hotel, (same initials, that's forensic certificate work right there). If that’s the case then the buyer is really gonna have (breakfast buffet powdered) egg on their face.

In order to find out more, I spoke to the original seller:

Noisey: Hi Chloe, what does the towel smell like? It surely smells quite bad after being damp and festering in a laundry hamper.

Chloe: He used it to dry himself after he had washed so it smelt good. It’s not like armpit smell.

If it doesn’t have salty bodily fluids on it I understand even less why it would sell for so much, you probably wouldn’t even be able to clone him from it? Did you expect it to sell for so much when you put it up?

Nah, we put it up as a joke, I didn’t think anyone would bid on it. I wouldn’t say that it’s strictly clean, it has been in lots of intimate areas.

A tissue that Scarlett Johansson sneezed in on the Jay Leno show went for less than half of that, how does MK feel about this?

Well MK’s up there. I tweeted him when the towel sold but I’ll let him know that he beat Scarlett Johansson.

Do you have any idea why this buyer was willing to pay so much, do you know anything about them? Is MK likely to have to get a restraining order against them?

I’m gonna get in touch with them but I don’t know why they would pay so much, maybe because it’s for a children’s charity, I’m not sure.

How did the towel come to be in your clutches?

I work for the club and someone told me that MK requested a towel so I drove back home to fetch him one and then I used it to my advantage. I actually got him two towels, but he only used one.

Is there any celebrity relic you’d fork out over ten grand for?

Nah, I’m quite poor, it would have to be under £50. Maybe that would get me an MK armpit hair.

Seeing as this towel has done so well, have you considered turning this into a full time career and keeping the profits?

I do meet lots of DJs so I could collect their flannels and give up the day job.

That sounds like a plan.