New York - Foul-Mouthed Thomas

Anyone who skims through the comments on VBS’s Garbage Island series will notice a barrage of complaints about host Thomas Morton’s expletive-laced parlance. High school science teachers are upset they can’t show it to their classes, parents want to educate their kids about the oceanic dilemma without schooling them in sailor-speak, and some just think it detracts from the issue at hand (not sure how it diminishes the impact of a floating landfill bigger than most states, but whatever). Maybe it was the Dramamine or the exasperation of being at sea for a month, but Thomas could barely get through three sentences without dropping a curse-packed cluster bomb. So we asked Jim O’Connor, founder of the Cuss Control Academy, to offer Baby Balls some pointers on cleaning up his filthy maw…

Thomas Morton does a fine job of reporting, tarnished only by his unnecessary use of profanity, particularly the F-word. Granted, that word has seemingly gained acceptance—or at least tolerance—in our contemporary culture, but it still offends some people and is inconsistent with the otherwise professional quality of the newscast.

In one episode of Garbage Island, Morton uses the F-word three times in less than one minute. Twice he referred to the “f----g trash” floating in the ocean, spoken as if he were talking to a boating buddy as they swilled a few beers. I’m sure his vocabulary includes more acceptable words, such as “disgusting,” “vile,” “foul,” “revolting,” “nauseating,” or “repulsive.” An even better word to support the point of his story would have been “disturbing.” If nothing else, these words provide some variety to avoid repeating the same f-----g word several times.

His third usage of the word made no sense: “We were nowhere near any other f-----g ships.” That adjective is derogatory, but what does he have against ships? Why use any adjective? It makes viewers pause to wonder if he had evidence that the ships were doing the polluting.

Even to describe the trash, he really didn’t need an adjective. After all, good reporting is supposed to be objective. The word “trash” speaks well for itself, without an intensifier.

Was it a slip of the tongue? No. He could have reshot his brief commentary. The word could have been edited out. It doesn’t spark up the report, because the word itself is boring and meaningless, worn out and overused because of lazy, unimaginative language.

I will be the first to agree that profanity has its place, as I point out in my book Cuss Control, the Complete Book on How to Curb Your Cursing. It can be funny and harmless, but doesn’t add much, especially when there are other words that communicate more effectively. Dumb swear words are not necessary to make internet reports more hip or cool. Show a little discretion, Thomas, and strive to be clever or witty if you want your reports to have more appeal.

JAMES V. O’CONNOR