You Can't Go Home Again

Photo by Marcus Askelöf

Mostafa Alshawi fled from Iraq to Sweden with his family when he was three. 20 years later he returned to his home country. He's a proud member of the Shia Islamic clan of the fishermen in Iraq, and in Sweden he is enrolled in the Police Academy. He has an Iraqi heritage by birth, but when he returned he was as socially clueless as any westerner. If anyone can give us the entire story on everyday Iraqi life like we're five years old, it's Mostafa. ice: Why would anyone want to go back to Iraq right now? Mostafa: I thought that if I went back to Iraq I would feel at home. That was one of my main reasons and I moved there to do volunteer work. I travelled around in a minibus handing out medicines, tents and canned food to help organizations around the country. What was it like adapting to life in Iraq? After the first three weeks I was like, "What the fuck am I doing here?" I never completely adjusted to life in Iraq. Can you move around freely at night? There's a curfew at 8 PM, but you can get a special government waiver if you have to move around after that. What was the situation like? During the six months I spent in Iraq I was in three situations where I was close to death. One of the worst times was in Fallujah in Baghdad. We stood in the square in the city and a handmade grenade blew up maybe 50 metres away, but it felt like it was one metre. We were in clear reach of the shockwave and I got hit by shrapnel. I have scars on my thighs, my head, my chest, and on my hand and knee because we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Doesn't that mess with your head too? Actually, the strongest memory I have is the way women were treated—more like property than humans. Divorced women are treated like they have the plague. A man could hit his wife or kids in public and other men around him would give him the thumbs up. You'll get hit just for questioning your father. A fist in the face or belting on the ass was an everyday occurrence, and for me the worst part was that the people around me wouldn't react. What do kids do for fun? I only went out a few times with my cousins. People have their routines. You take the car, cruise around the city and then you buy ice cream. You go to places where chicks and dudes can meet without people being suspicious. Or to rooftop cafés where you can drink tea, smoke water pipes and watch soccer until 8 PM. It's the same kind of bullshit you talk about, and gather around, as everywhere else. There aren't any clubs really, and alcohol is still taboo unless you're at someone's house. Do people date? Yeah, but you need to bring a relative with you, a chaperone. All other dating, and dating before the age of 18, happens in secret. What about prostitution and drugs? It's more common since the fall of Saddam's regime. If you know someone who knows someone you'll be hooked up for sex. There are a lot of drugs circulating too, especially ecstasy. Are arranged marriages still common? There are major difference between big cities and the countryside. In the cities they'll wait until you're eighteen or nineteen before you're married, and arranged marriages are not that popular anymore. It's more common to see if a couple will "click" and if they do they'll get engaged the day after and then get married within a month. If there's beef between clans a marriage can patch up their differences. People mostly marry within their clan. There's a great saying when it comes to marriage, "You don't just marry the woman, you marry her entire family." What's up with the clans? I have a hundred thousand relatives. One of our relatives stabbed this guy. That led to a war between our clan and his. But the clan leaders met, and it was all solved financially, instead of physically. The clans still live by the old rule; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. It's like a company but it governs everything that concerns the family. The clans also have their own flags. Ours is green with a fish on it. What about you, do you hate other religious groups? No, my parents taught us to respect people no matter who they are—judge the person on their actions and not their ethnical background. But in Iraq they don't teach the same philosophy. What's your happiest memory from Iraq? When I stood at the Iraqi border and saw the flag and my father waiting for me. When we arrived at the house there was like a hundred relatives greeting me. Everybody cried when they saw me and wanted to kiss me. Then they started to throw caramels at me. When a close relative visits, the tradition is to sacrifice an animal and let the blood touch your feet. So they killed a sheep for me. There were no worries, only perfection. What do you think about the death of Saddam? I don't believe in the death penalty no matter what the crime is. Half of my relatives have been slaughtered because of their religion or their political opinion. My aunt was hanged, so was my uncle and so on… I think that many Iraqis are happy that Saddam's rule has ended, but in my opinion I wanted the trial to continue so that Saddam would be convicted for every crime he committed. I think he got off easy. REBECCA RUSZ