Look, we love comedians. We love podcasts. Using the transitive property, therefore we should love comedy podcasts. Unfortunately, there are a fucking billion comedy podcasts all about how comedians started doing open mics and how they feel about the check drop. We’re gonna do something a little different. Instead of their first dumb open mic, let’s talk about their first time having sex, or first time seeing a dead body, y’know?
We run a show called Entitlement in Los Angeles, and we grabbed our headliner Chris Fairbanks, along with comedy’s drunk camping buddy Kyle Kinane, took them to the studio where fucking Pet Sounds was recorded, and asked them about their first time’s doin’ it.
There's something special about the very first time you do something different, or the first time something out of the ordinary happens to you. As monotonous as that eventual thing might become, the first time holds meaning. It marks change. Even the most minor firsts can have a huge effect on your life. The first time you rode a bike. That could have been what made you decide to never drive a car. From there, you become a bicycle activist and move to Portland to fight "The Man," (who, BTW, has never been to Portland in his life.) Of course, there are milestone firsts. Firsts that act as a rite of passage. When someone asks you about your “first time” the assumption is obviously, sex. When was the first time you had sex? Actual sex? Inside a person? Inside of you?
Highlights of this episode include: a stripper buying gas station shoes, a college roommate sleeping through it, uttering the words “dick acne," dildo therapy and so much more. A lot more, really. Next week we’ll debut a brand new episode called “What Happens When You Die?” If you have any suggestions for the next “First” we should discuss, put it in the comments.
UNLOCK THE GATES: it’s time for the ENTITLEMENT podcast.
PRODUCER: BRETT RADER
ENGINEER: CHRIS SOUSA
MUSIC: LA FONT
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