Hate-Filled Anarchists to Take over London

"Sluts vs Cuts!!"

Today The Sun had what they thought was a scoop on a 'Hate-Filled' plan to disrupt the Royal Wedding and the huge TUC Demo in March by an Anarchist collective known as Network X.
But I was fortunate enough to be invited along to one of the planning meetings for the so-called Operation Dual Power last week (which was not attended by a Sun reporter as claimed) and gained an insight into the Machiavellian and dastardly plans organised by former Anthropology lecturer and now infamous Anarchist, Chris Knight.

"Chris Knight (far-right) and other 'Hate-Filled' anarchists planning to takeover London."

The Trade Union Congress have organised a huge rally in Hyde Park on March 26th preceded by a march from Victoria Embankment. Many see the leaders of the Trade Unions as bureaucrats and careerists who are only using the event to cement their positions and disrupt the government for their own personal gain so plan to sabotage the event through numerous and humorous ways.

"Expect to see one of these but in flames and with the face of David Cameron."

First of all there are plans with the help of Arts Against the Cuts to build an 18ft Trojan Horse that will be carted along the march until it gets to Parliament Square, filled with effigies of politicians and royals it will then be burnt. Guarding the horse will be a brigade of lollipop ladies festooned with bullet belts and baseball bats, who after facing massive cuts will be in no mood for poor road safety.

Other methods of disruption include members of Network X have signed up as stewards for the march who will then issue wrong directions for protesters and hold up the march along the way. Barricades will be set up on major junctions to stop police vehicles moving across the city and large groups of anarchists will occupy key buildings in London including  police stations, government buildings, banks and army barracks.

"Don't bother driving on the 26th because the roads will be chocked full of crusties."

Another day of action has been called on the 29th April the day of Prince William and Kate Middleton's royal wedding (that's if there hasn't been a revolution already). Called by the people behind Operation Dual Power and The International Union of Sex Workers, there will be a 'right royal orgy' in St James' park for four days of fucking and enraging public decency that will culminate on mayday for more protests and the re-occupation of Parliament Square. There will also be numerous attempts to stretch other police resources by blocking the parade route, hoping to force the wedding to take place at St Paul's Cathedral.

So if you fancy causing some mayhem and chaos or just to check out some hippies fucking in St James' park then come along and be a part of the New Weird Order.

Henry Langston