What's the Strangest Thing You've Seen Someone Do in Public?

It's weird, isn't it? Some things are completely normal if you do them in your own home, but if you do them in public it's all "What the fuck, mate?" and "Excuse me sir, you're going to have to come with me." Which I think is totally unfair. That's why I was so happy to see the feisty fellow in the video above. Much like a confused Fathers 4 Justice campaigner, the surrounding gaggle of armed police and irate taxi drivers aren't stopping him having his moment in the sun. And who cares if he's naked? You go for it, buddy.

Inspired by this watershed moment in the campaign to treat the public domain like you treat your living room when the curtains are closed and nobody's home, we asked members of the public what the strangest thing they’ve ever seen someone do in public is.

Daniel, architect.

VICE: Hi Daniel. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen?
Daniel: Two very happy homeless and naked drunks sunbathing on a summer’s day, by a bus stop in Cork.

Did they get a reaction from the public?
No. They were just happy, blissfully happy in the sun. And completely naked.

And when you say naked…?
Well, the balls were there and she had her fanny out, you know? All the bits were there and they were just drunk and sunbathing at about two in the afternoon.

Sounds glorious.

Musty, artists’ assistant.

Musty: Probably the strangest thing for me was seeing someone smoking crack on the tube. Sitting in a row of seats, there was a couple just smoking it from the foil and stinking the whole tube up. It was in the day time and they were right in front of me. I had to get up and leave.

Did they turn any heads?
Well, you know how people here are, they’re quite reserved. They pretended not to see what was going on, but it actually stunk so much that a few people had to get up and walk away and one girl told them to stop.

Were they sketchy about it?
No, not at all. It was like they were just sitting down having their lunch, like I’m having my lunch now. It was all so blasé, like it was just normal to them. So I just left and got onto another carriage. I think nobody wants to see that.

Sharri, Operations manager.

Sharri: It’s actually not that strange, but it doesn’t happen in the UK. I was in Peru, and I saw a little kid and his mum take a massive shit in front of me on the street.

What? Together?
Yeah, both of them just sitting there, going to the toilet.

That’s actually quite touching, to be honest.
I suppose so, yeah. I’ve seen loads of that.

And was everyone else fine with this?
Yeah. We were in the part of town that’s obviously quite dodgy and obviously quite poverty stricken, so I think it was alright to just go and shit anywhere you want.

Important question: was there a public bathroom nearby that they could have used?
Yes, but I think you probably had to pay to get in, or have to be a bit more upper class. Basically, not poor.

Do you think it’s a vicious cycle? Because they probably don’t want people who shit on the street coming into their place, which means then they can’t use the bathroom so they have to shit on the street?
Yeah, I suppose. But what can you do?

Hannah, customer service manager.

Hannah: One guy had a Chinese takeaway on the tube, dropped it on the floor and got down on his knees and ate it from the floor. Everyone was disgusted.

Did he finish the whole thing?
I think so. This was a few years ago, so I’m not sure. But it was absolutely revolting.

Who was he? Was he homeless or something?
I don’t think so. I'm pretty sure he was just a normal guy. Well, I think he probably had problems.

Yeah, probably mate.

Follow Ronan on Twitter: @RonanOKelly

Previously: What Do Mormons Think of 'The Book of Mormon'?