Should You Have to Take a Test Before You're Allowed Children?

Photo by Kelly Long

Poor parenting comes in many guises. There are those who take a slightly more overt route – restraining their toddlers so a tattoo artist can scrawl ink into their skin, or carving pentagrams into their six-year-olds' backs – and those who throw down the slow-burner method, spending years ignoring or being emotionally cruel to their offspring, who then grow up to be the kind of dick who abuses women or shouts insults at disabled people because they're so desperately emotionally bereft that they need to be cruel to feel anything.

Obviously none of that is good. But then neither is sterilisation, Orwellian restrictions on childbirth or pretty much any invasion of people's personal freedoms, unless that invasion somehow stops them from being a rapist, or something. But what about a test? A simple set of questions to see if they're capable of raising a child without turning it into a complete fucking sociopath? London, should you have to take a test before you're allowed children?

Andrea, post production: I was actually thinking about this recently, and of course it's a no. But then maybe it's a yes. It's a hard one is what it is.

VICE: How about a personality test, then? Something proving they can be responsible.
Yes, I think that if they’ve shown mistrust in the past, then yes. That would be a good thing to do.

So people who've committed fraud, or something?
Yeah, criminals generally should have to take a test.

Okay then.

Louise, shop owner: My immediate answer is no.

Do you not think children deserve parents who can bring them up in a responsible, educated way?
I do, but what I think they deserve most is emotional intelligence. So emotionally intelligent parents who are going to love them and do the best for them are the more important thing. Being intelligent or book-smart doesn't matter.

Nick, marketing manager: Yes, I think so.

Do you not believe it's more about love than anything else, though?
Yeah, but I think you need both. So if the parents don’t have the brains to look after a child, then why should they be allowed one? It’s unfair on the kid and unfair on the society around it that has to deal with it when it's all grown and fucked up.

So people who can't write shouldn't be allowed kids?
No, of course they should. They just need to have the basic intelligence to be able to get their kids to a level where they can be independent.

Kia, broker: Well, that’s just entirely unenforceable, isn't it, mate? You can’t stop people from having sex – that's ridiculous.

You could try.
Yeah, I know where you’re coming from. I understand the question and it’s something that should be discussed. However, without fundamentally changing the structure of society, I think it’s impossible to enforce. I like the idea, though.

Well, at least we're starting a dialogue.

Roman, graphic design student: No, I don’t think so. No, definitely not, actually.

How about responsibility tests?
Yeah, responsibility tests are fine, but nothing about IQ or intelligence tests – your IQ has very little do with how well you can look after your children.

What about criminals? Should they be tested for parenthood capabilities when they're let out of jail?
I think anybody can change, that’s what prison is for. If you have come out of prison that means you have changed, and that’s good enough

Previously - Should Women Be Allowed to Fight on the Frontline?