Illustrations by George Heaven
Annons
Annons
Annons
2) I went on a porn site.
3) I found a video.
4) I jerked off.None of the process felt organic, which is probably because it wasn't. The porn was just one step in a tedious, familiar plan, helping me to achieve something I'd already mapped out in my mind. Now, it had gone back to some thought or image randomly awaking a sexual desire, me fantasising about something and then masturbating. Much better.I also noticed that, for the first time, I wasn't thinking about anything in particular. Not the French couple, not the threesome in an Ikea-furnished bungalow, not the college orgy – rather about physical sensations and actually being able to appreciate them. It was more similar to sex than any of the many, many times I'd previously jerked off.
Annons