What's the Worst Band of All Time?

There are lots and lots of bands out there. Most of them never get past the “Dude, we should start a band” and furious name brainstorming stage. A lot of them get to the point where they play in front of people until they realise they suck, some get it together enough that it’s possible to enjoy their music, a few succeed to the point that people will give them a bunch of money to play and a select group of elite bands become so wildly popular for no good reason that people start hating them.

It’s this last group of bands we’re interested in today. People we ran into on the street, who’s the worst band of all time?

Erin: My immediate answer is the Crash Test Dummies.

VICE: Why?
Because “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” makes me want to eat glass and pour bleach in my eyes.

That song actually ruined food for me.
Luckily it didn’t for me.

Rachel (right) and Rebecca.

Rachel: Any kind of boy band.
Rebecca: Why a boy band?
Rachel: There’s just too many of them.

VICE: Like the Backstreet Boys?
More like O-Town.

They are horrible. I haven’t thought of them since they did that video with, like, a liquid lady.
Rebecca: Yeah, whatever that was. It has to be them. They are really bad.
Rachel: I mean, this is if you disqualify anything that’s obviously bad. Like, there’s also the Goo Goo Dolls and Nickelback.

Yeah, they're a given.

Gregory (left) and Arrodi.

Gregory: I don’t know that many bands. I would probably say Lady Gaga.
Arrodi: Yeah, she is so weird.

VICE: What makes her weird?
Gregory: She just does absurd, crazy things. Like vampire-type shit with blood.
Arrodi: It’s OK to be crazy, but she is too crazy. People like that gross stuff, though. It makes money.

Jess: Nickelback makes me angry. So does Celine Dion. But I think I’ll have to go with Linkin Park. They make me hate rap and whatever other noise they make. Punk rock? Is that what that is?

VICE: Rap Metal.
Right. We can’t let them have “punk” or “rock”.

Frank (left), Christine (middle) and Suzy.

Suzy: Nickelback, for sure.

VICE: Why?
Christine: What song did they sing? The funeral one? “With Arms Wide Open”?
Frank: I think you’re confused.

Who else?
Christine: LFO. Their sound was boy band meets rap metal. They had the worst lyrics, like the one about girls in Abercrombie and Fitch and something about Chinese food.
Frank: One Direction?

I don’t even know who that is.
Good. Never mind. Forget I said it.

Andrew: Creed.

VICE: Why?
Because of Scott Stapp. He also started Alter Bridge. Second worst band ever.

Did you know he wrote a song about the Marlins?

Previously – Would You Be Offended If I Called You a Pleb?