First I tried to leave the skateboard world by leaving Thrasher, only to get sucked back in by VBS.TV. Now I have completed the regression by moving from a luxurious one-bedroom apartment in the East Village to a skate house in West Hollywood. Spanky had an extra room on Ogden Drive and the rent was more than a thousand dollars cheaper per month. Now, you would think that with Spanky being a top pro skater and me producing a hit interweb show that that we would have a phat pad with like a waterslide coming out the window into a swimming pool. No, it’s a tiny shithole. Spanky is kinda tight with his money and I just keep running up my debts. Anyway, I don’t sleep there that much. I have a girlfriend in Silver Lake so I usually just go there. But the times I have slept over there it’s been the worst. Every night it’s something annoying. One night Cory Kennedy and Curtis from Supreme woke me up at 3 AM to try and get us to go to some hotel party while another person was outside honking. Another night Manute and Spanky were up at 7 AM jamming Sabbath and chain-smoking cigars. They were on shrooms and Spanky was trying to get this projector thing to work and kept dropping it on the floor, and they looked at me like I was some kind of alien when I came out of the room to tell them to keep it down. I think we need to get a cleaning person too, because the house smells, there’s trash and dishes piled up everywhere, and when an ashtray is filled up, instead of emptying it, Spanky just starts another one. Oh, and when the unit next door opened up for rent, I wouldn’t have minded a stranger moving in, like an old Chinese couple, but of course Spanky has the bright idea of telling Braydon to move in. Seriously, Braydon? The loudest, most talkative party wolf I have ever met? Now he lives there, and every day I hear his voice: “Dude, I banged the hottest porn star last night!” It’s like I actually live in an episode of my own show. It’s not voyeuristic anymore, it’s my actual life. I love both those guys, Spanky and Braydon, but shit, neither of them ever stops. Maybe we should do that thing where we take tons of pride in our house and give it like a cool skate-gang name, like Ogden Drive Mob or West Hollyweirdos or some bullshit, and we can film a skate video about it. Look for the Ogdmonsters video dropping in 2011.
PS: I just told Braydon and Spanky about this and Spanky was like, “Oh man, you’re going to make it sound so much worse than it is,” and Braydon said, “It’ll make people just want to come and party with us more!” Watch Epicly Later’d on VBS.TV.