Joanna Fuertes-Knight has been teaching you guys how to cook for so bloody long now, that we thought she deserved her own VICE.com cookbook.So, finally, here is a compendium of every meal she's ever poured her blood, sweat and tears into on this here website.We'll be updating it weekly with her new recipes, so don't forget to bookmark it.ELVIS PRESLEY PLATTERIt'll be just like you're hanging out with The King, shitting yourselves to death in Heaven.Feed meLINGERIE LONGANISAIt's "rustic" food, but not for pricks.Feed meANGEL DELIGHT COOKIESThese make Zooey Deschanel look like that chick who got boned to death by a horse.Feed meBAKED BEAN GNOCCHIA hideously delicious corruption of Italian food that will make Mama cry.Feed meEASTER SPECIAL!Here's yet another opportunity to binge eat in the name of Jesus.Feed meOREO EXTRAVAGANZAHappy 100th birthday, mighty Oreo! Feed meBABIED RIBSEveryone eats pig fat slathered in baby food now, it's credit crunch chic.Feed meSKITTLES CUPSFeaturing the most ingenious use of water-bombs since filling them with piss.Feed meLUTHER (VANDROSS) SLIDERSDid you know Luther Vandross invented a donut burger when he was wasted?Feed meRED VELVET PANCAKES AND CREME EGG SAUCEA Shrove Tuesday dish so good you could lure Jesus out of the desert with it.Feed meDE NIRO GUINNESS TIRAMISU_A dessert named after my fav Irish-Italian actor who didn't play Danny Zuko in Grease._Feed meDEEP-FRIED PICKLE ENCHILADASGet in that Super Bowl spirit by deep-frying shit and putting it in your face.Feed meVEGAN CORNISH PASTIESYou can't always eat things that have a face.Feed meBLOBFISH MEDLEYIt might look like the ugliest thing in the sea but it won't make you shart.Feed meRAINBOW CAKENo one should have to go through a seizure on an empty stomach.Feed meTHE DETOX COCONUT COLON CLEANSERIt's time to poop out all the bad things we put into our bodies on New Year's Eve.Feed meYULE LOG TRIOHow to turn your greed into permanent spleen damage this Christmas.Feed meEGGNOG POP-TARTSCelebrate Christmas by getting drunk and burning your face off simultaneously.Feed meCRAZY CHRISTMAS CAFFIENE CAKE POPSSurvive the inevitable panic shopping by getting wired on these guys.Feed meBEEF STEAK IN BANANA SAUCEAn Asian pirate speciality.Feed meSTUDENT BANQUET SPECIALAre you an incapable little thing lost in further education? JFK will help you out.Feed meMINT AERO LAMB RACKMeat, meet chocolate.Feed meSTAINED GLASS JELLYFood you can eat without teeth.Feed meCHEESY GOLDEN MONEY BAGSThis is a delicious and easy recipe for anyone stupid enough to be a vegetarian.Feed mePUMPKIN ICE CREAM FLOATERSWooooo, it's a Halloween special.Feed meCORNED BEEF COLD REMEDYLet me show you how to turn your sick bed into a deathbed.Feed meKOOL-AID DONUTSKool-Aid isn't just for suicide.Feed meBREAKFAST SPAM BURRITOSA breakfast fit for an overweight Mexican king.Feed meICED POTATO CHIP COOKIESTwo of the world's greatest ever snacks, together at last.Feed mePOUTINECelebrate pensioners freezing to death in their beds with this dish from Canada.__Feed meHIPPY JOHNNY'S CHOCOLATE BROWNIESReal men eat their drugs.Feed meLAZY CHICKEN WANGZA treat for rude boys, brought to you by Smash.Feed meSLEEPY WHOOPIE PIESDo you self-medicake?Feed meSTUFFED BURGERSFull of Doritos and full of love.Feed meCHOCOLATE PIZZAWe've all heard of Italy - but have you ever eaten Italian food?Feed meANTI-RIOT BATTERED SAUSAGEA love letter to Britain.Feed meUBE CAKEIt'll stop you vomiting shit.Feed meBACON CUPCAKESIt is possible to eat a cupcake without being a twee dick about it.Feed meDRUNK CHICKENYou’re not a real cook till you’ve spent a day fisting poultry.Feed meDOUGHNUT UPSIDE-DOWN CAKEIt's not a problem with fruit per se, they can just taste a bit like bin juice.Feed meCANDIED HAM AND MARSHMALLOWSThere is nothing quite as satisfying as a spit-roast on a summer’s day.Feed meDEEP FRIED MEXICAN CHOCOLATE CAKEIt's got chili in it.Feed me
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