Joanna Fuertes-Knight has been teaching you guys how to cook for so bloody long now, that we thought she deserved her own VICE.com cookbook.
So, finally, here is a compendium of every meal she's ever poured her blood, sweat and tears into on this here website.
We'll be updating it weekly with her new recipes, so don't forget to bookmark it.
It'll be just like you're hanging out with The King, shitting yourselves to death in Heaven.
It's "rustic" food, but not for pricks.
These make Zooey Deschanel look like that chick who got boned to death by a horse.
A hideously delicious corruption of Italian food that will make Mama cry.
Here's yet another opportunity to binge eat in the name of Jesus.
Happy 100th birthday, mighty Oreo!
Everyone eats pig fat slathered in baby food now, it's credit crunch chic.
Featuring the most ingenious use of water-bombs since filling them with piss.
Did you know Luther Vandross invented a donut burger when he was wasted?
RED VELVET PANCAKES AND CREME EGG SAUCE
A Shrove Tuesday dish so good you could lure Jesus out of the desert with it.
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My Week Spent with Hungary's Far-Right
Hungarian nationalists throw beer at people and blame Jews and gypsies for all their problems.
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Britain's Comedy Nazis Are Spoiling It for Everyone
But should we feel outraged or just pity them?
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I'm Hunting Down the Fat Fetishist Who Has My Stolen Laptop
He likes big ladies and lives in a maisonette.
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VICE Loves Magnum: Peter van Agtmael Won't Deny the Strange Allure of War
Which is why his photos taken in post-9/11 warzones are the best.
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VICE News: This Is What Winning Looks Like
A documentary about the ineptitude and corruption of the Afghan security forces.
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VICE News: Sisa: Cocaine of the Poor
A new drug called sisa is tearing its way through Athens' poor.
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Greg Palast's Column: I Upset My Least Favourite Big Fat Greek Minister
Theodoros Pangalos doesn't like talking about Greece's economic collapse.
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Gavin Haynes' Sleepless Nights: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Dickhead
The silly spy game farce of Ryan Fogle.
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Pretty Girl Bullshit: 'Too Pretty to Work' Laura Fernee Is a Mirror to Our Own Stupidity
Or, the age-old tabloid morality sham.
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Menk, by John Doran: Don't Tell Me That the High Rise Has to End
It's odd, DJing sober.
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Las Vegas Needs to Get Creative with Its Homeless Problem
Here are some ideas.
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Hanging Out with Human Rights Heroes at the Oslo Freedom Forum
It's a bit like Comic-Con, only all the heroes are real.
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Question of the Day: Which Politician Would You Most Like to Do Drugs with?
"Prescott, probably. He’s just a bit of a boy, isn't he?"
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Beware the Lizzies
Photos by Leonn Ward and styling by John William.
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VICE News: Triple Hate - Part 1
The Klan, the Crips, racism and the spectre of history.
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Did a Murderer Just Give Himself Away on Yelp?
It seems like he might have done.
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When Musicians Attack
Miguel tea-bagged a couple of fans at the Billboard Awards. Is that the worst thing an artist has ever done to their audience?
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Britain's Comedy Nazis Are Spoiling It for Everyone
But should we feel outraged or just pity them?
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My Week Spent with Hungary's Far-Right
Hungarian nationalists throw beer at people and blame Jews and gypsies for all their problems.
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I Don't Have the Stones to Be a Crime Reporter
I tried covering the Tia Sharp case but just felt guilty the whole time.
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Really, Ryan? : Gay Men and Their Not-So-Cute Misogyny Problem
It's not OK to call your lady friends dumb sluts just because you like the same private parts.
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Dogmageddon: Don't Bet on the Apocalypse
Or you'll end up dead broke, instead of just plain dead.
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I'm Hunting Down the Fat Fetishist Who Has My Stolen Laptop
He likes big ladies and lives in a maisonette.
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Menk, by John Doran: Don't Tell Me That the High Rise Has to End
It's odd, DJing sober.
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This Man Thinks He Never Has to Eat Again
Rob Rhinehart's vomit-coloured cocktail could change food forever.
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Alex Miller's New Column: Lord, I Hate Camden Town
It's the graveyard of the fad.
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How to Be Happy, Young and Jobless
A survival guide for when society thinks your life has no purpose.
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Milf Teeth: The Notches On Your Bedpost Don't Mean Shit
Your sex gets better when you're learning with one person.
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I Interviewed My Local UKIP Rep After I Got Him Sacked and Banned
Phillip Collins has been reinstated now, but things were still a bit awkward.
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What's Going to Kill the House Revival?
Geeks? Shufflers? Americans? Tinchy Stryder?
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Pretty Girl Bullshit: Is Snapchat Ruining People's Lives?
I'm worried that it is.
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VICE News: Protest At Thatcher's Funeral
Some people enjoy booing coffins. We went to see just how many.
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A Big Night Out... at the Worst Club Night Ever?
The "stars" from TOWIE and Milton Keynes, together at last.
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Thatcher's War on Acid House
She may have got the Falklands, but she couldn't get the pillheads.
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English Fascists Took Their First Beating of the Summer in Brighton This Weekend
That's what happens when bigots march in England's most liberal city.
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Gay Men And Their Misogyny Problem
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Ground Zero - Syria
The bombing of Aleppo's Dar al-Shifa hospital. 
Malaysian Neo-Nazis
Fighting for a pure Malay race. 
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I'm Hunting Down A Fat Fetishist
He stole my laptop. 
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