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      Big K.R.I.T. Told Us How He Would Soundtrack an Orgy

      April 26, 2013

      By Tshepo Mokoena

      Big K.R.I.T. is on a roll right now. The 2011 XXL Freshman Class alum just dropped his tenth mixtape, King Remembered in Time, which boasts some of the hardest tracks to come out so far this year. His highly anticipated collaborative album with Yelawolf, reportedly titled Country Cousins, is slated to drop this year as well. And he’s making that commercial money soundtracking some new whiskey ads that star ex-basketball player Julius “Dr. J” Erving. That last one threw me for a loop, too. But it made perfect sense when I visited the Meridian, Mississippi, MC at Def Jam’s midtown offices—K.R.I.T.'s cup runneth over with the brown spirit.

      Once K.R.I.T. was settled in with some whiskey and Coke on ice, I chatted with him quickly about his upcoming West Coast tour with Smoke DZA. Then I hit him with some rapid-fire "weird-ass questions" culled from VICE's Question of the Day column. He laughed a whole lot and ended up telling me about hypothetically drinking pee in the desert, the relationship advice book he might pitch to Oprah, and the playlist he’d make for an orgy.

      VICE: Let's start off with an easy question. What was the first record you bought?
      Big K.R.I.T.: The first record I bought was Silkk the Shocker's Charge It 2 da Game. Yup, he had the cover with the big-ass credit card on it.

      How old were you when you bought it?
      I must have been like 12 or 13. I was a super-duper No Limit Records fan, and his album had just dropped. And I had the money to get it.

      What do you miss most about being young?
      Not having bills. That was fun. Bills are real, man. I’m thinking about them right now.

      But doesn’t being on a major label make you immune to that?
      There’s no exception to bills. And you get more of them depending on the situation you’re in. Then other people make bills, and they need you to help pay them. Then you have a lot of bills. [laughs]

      Who was your teenage crush back when you were a kid?
      Oh, I can’t put her out there like that. Her name was mad awkward though, so even if I don’t say her last name she’s gonna know exactly who I’m talking about.

      Tell me about her.
      I’ll tell you about her. She was bad, early. You know, you’ve got that whole summer break when you're in school. And when you’re young, you can change in just three months. I remember, it was the transition form junior high to high school, she came back as a totally different person. And I was like, “I love her.” She hit me on Facebook recently, but she didn’t pay me any attention back in the day. 

      Did she know you liked her?
      She says she did. I don’t know, I don’t like to say the rap music helped her hit me up. I like to think it’s my personality. I like to think she wants to rekindle what we had, but didn’t really have.  

      What’s the secret to successful dating?
      I’m the wrong person for that kind of shit. But I'll tell you one thing, you have to be honest. There’s a lack of honesty in relationships. You know how, just to keep from arguing, you’ll be like, “I really like that dress you got on,” but you actually don’t like it? I think you have to start early and be like, “Your hair looks crazy right now.” Because once you build that foundation, you’re really building each other’s confidence. Honesty’s the best policy. I have it figured out on a relationship level; hopefully Oprah will pick my book up. I’ll make it real artsy and shit.

      What’s the worst lie you told as a teenager?
      The worst lie? “This is my car.” “These are my rims, these are my wheels.” “I just got this.” I was probably 17 and I wanted a shorty. So I told her it was all me. [laughs] She believed me until I had to give the car back. We were chilling in the parking lot at a high school football game, and my partner called me because he needed his car back. At that point, what are you gonna do? I told her she had to get out of that whip.

      What sort of person wants to bone you?
      Someone who wants to be pleased.

      What else does she like?
      She wants to have an amazing orgasmic experience. Earwise, via the music, and bodywise. And soulwise, because I’m all about feeding the soul of a female. 

      So in that multisensory vein, what music should you play at an orgy?
      An orgy? See I ain’t never…

      Let’s say you were DJing one. What would you play?
      I’m DJing an orgy? You mean I am at the party?

      Sure, you’re in the room.
      I’m not sure if I’m down for all that. Let’s say I made a mixtape and I sold it to somebody that played it. Let me think about this: “Late Night” by Three 6 Mafia, “T-Shirt and Panties” by Adina Howard, and “Purple Rain” by Prince. That’s some nasty shit. Oh, and “Private Dancer” and “Turn This into Something” by me.

      Let’s switch it up a little. What’s the most pain you’ve ever been in?
      The most pain? Damn, that’s hard to say. Probably when my grandma passed after shooting the video for “Hometown Hero.” That was fucked up and weird, because I felt like I wasted too much time trying to get into the music game, and I wanted her to see me get in… Breaking my collarbone in 1995 was also a real pain, too.

      When is it OK to pee in a jar?
      I’ve watched some of those survival television shows. And apparently, if you’re in the desert and there’s nothing to drink, and that’s the only liquid you’ve got, then you’ve got to use that to keep yourself cool. So if I’m on safari and I’m lost, that might be a good time. But I don’t know how you’d get an old school mason jar on safari.  

      What’s the sexiest fruit?
      Strawberries. That's classic. Or a female eating a banana, maybe.

      How old would you go? Have you ever thought about your age limits?
      I’ve thought about them. How old is Angela Bassett? She’s still bad. She can get it. I can’t name anybody else, because the other one’s an R&B singer who I want to work with. 

      Finally, how long do we have before global warming kills us all?
      Man, what the fuck? I don’t know! First the Mayans thought shit was going to be over, then we had the 1999 scare and nothing happened. The sun could burp tomorrow, and we’d all get burnt up. I can’t speak on it, I just try to stay prayed up. I put my religion in my music, to stay prayed up.

      Thanks, K.R.I.T.!

      @NeuThings

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