What's Your Suicide Song?
Jun 14 2012
Welcome to Question of the Day. It gives interns something to do!
Your last moments on Earth are some that you may not have considered planning. But if you were going to reach for the gun/rope/needle and punch out at your shift on Earth (kill yourself), you'd better be damn sure to pick a decent tune to go out to. It would be pretty embarrassing to be surrounded by the first three tracks of the Eurythmics' Greatest Hits when your roommate discovers your recently deceased corpse, just because you forgot that all your Spotify playlists were set to loop from that impromptu party last Thursday, wouldn't it?
Choose wisely, what song would you kill yourself to? What's your suicide song?
Rickesh, 24, campaign manager: It would be that song about being free.
Do you mean Queen, "I Want to Break Free"?
Yeah, yeah that one.
Would you wear women’s clothes, like they do in the music video?
No. I’d jump off a bridge. It’s tranquil, it’s like you come out of a woman’s womb and then... [trails off]
Then you jump off a bridge and kill yourself?
Ivana, 30, professor of literature: I don’t think there would be a relevant song, maybe the sea?
Like a whale song compilation?
No, just the sound of the ocean.
Would you do it next to an actual beach, or just play pre-recorded sounds of the sea?
Yeah, a real beach, a real ocean. I would drown.
Oscar, 29, fashion designer: It would be, errr, "The River," by Bruce Springsteen.
Because it’s a very nice song and if I’m going to be committing suicide it’s got to be a nice final moment, like listening to Bruce falling from a building.
What are the lyrics about?
It’s like [sings] "Iiiiiiiinto the riiiiiiver!"
Ronnie, 23, logistics coordinator: What do you mean, like a song I would kill myself too?
Yeah, it could be a happy song or a depressing song, whatever you like.
I’ll give you the song I think is happy and depressing at the same time: "Maps" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
It’s a love song and people who kill themselves are usually depressed or in love with someone they can’t be with.
What are you basing this on?
For me, it would probably be love that would kill me.
So you would ruin the other person’s life by making them spend a lifetime drowning in an ocean of guilt and regret?
Yeah, damn you, you didn’t want to be with me, so I’m going to kill myself!
Dom, 26, musician: "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran.
Wow, that was a pretty quick answer.
Well it’s a pretty epic song, isn’t it?
I’ve never heard it.
For real, though?
Have you seen Layer Cake?
Fuck, you work for a magazine and you don’t know these things? They’re pretty rudimentary elements of popular culture. You know who Duran Duran are, right?
I know who Duran Duran are, I just don’t like them or know anything about them.
OK, well anyway, there was a moment when I had a nervous breakdown and it helped me out of it, so I guess it would be a good song to go out to as well.
I see the logic, but I still hate Duran Duran. What would your suicide scenario be?
Maybe in a blaze of painkillers and pills.
Natasha, 20, student: Oh, I don’t know. I never thought about it.
It’s funny, we just asked a guy and he knew straight away.
Haha, I don’t know, maybe I would cut myself.
No, not how would you kill yourself, but what song would you listen to as you killed yourself? Interesting about the cutting, though.
Oh, "what song"! It’s a Russian song, the artist is called Kino and the song is "Moreveni."
What does "Moreveni" mean?
It’s like a nest for the special insect.
Why would you choose that song?
Because it’s about life and never being alone.
Emmanuel, 22, fashion assistant: Let me look at my iPod. I can’t find it at the moment but it’s on a playlist called "sad songs." Ah here it is, it's called "Lonely Boy" and it’s by Jean Michel Jarre.
How did you find that song?
Well, I was watching a Daft Punk movie and it’s about sad robots, a robot wants to be human and he obviously can't be, so he gets really sad and blows up and that song plays.
Cool story. What song would you make sure to avoid at your suicide?
Kanye West, "Good Life."
Previously - What Does Michael Fassbender's Penis Look Like?
AssMatrix.com Analyzes the Asses of the Masses
Should We Televise the Trials of Famous Murderers?
Having a Tibetan Sky Burial Means Birds Will Slowly Eat Your Corpse
I Had to Survive London Fashion Week on Free Gifts Alone
The Scottish Independence Campaign Lost Because It Didn't Win Over Glasgow's Poor
Time-Travel Movies Are Garbage
Cambodian Surf Rockers Were Awesome, but the Khmer Rouge Killed Them
I Dressed Like an Idiot at Fashion Week to See How Easy It Is to Get Street-Snapped
The Ultimate Basic Bitch Tournament
The Future of Our Gay Neighborhoods