Who You Gonna Bang Tomorrow?
Feb 13 2012
Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and you know what that means—people gon’ be fuckin’. To find out whose holes are going to be filled with whom, we went out on the streets and asked the populace of the “City That Never Sleeps (Because They Are Always Having Sex)” who they would be making sweet love to tomorrow.
Gus: I will be having sex with nobody tonight. My family is out of town. Sounds like a perfect opportunity right? The guy at the bank today suggested I go to the spa tomorrow.
Cameron: Probably my girlfriend Jenny.
Are you doing anything special?
We’re going to a comedy club.
I mean sexually.
I dunno. We’ll have to see.
Evelyn: I will be sleeping with no one. I will be going out with my best friend Kate, and we will be eating instead of fucking. Eating is really very important. I’m gonna wear my hickey.
Why aren’t you fucking the person that it came from?
Because I don’t want to see that person on Valentine's Day.
Kim: No one! My boyfriend lives in Korea!
You guys gonna Skype?
Maybe, but probably not because of the time difference. It’s like 14 hours.
What the fuck do you guys even do?
Ricardo: I’m 17. I’m not going to be having sex with anyone.
Eddy: I’ll probably be having sex with my husband.
How long have you been married?
We have been married for three years, and together for six.
Any special plans?
Probably gonna sit on the couch, play some video games.
I don’t think so.
Previously – The Grossest Thing You've Seen in Public
The Jim Norton Show: 'Freeway' Rick Ross - Part 2
VICE News: The Lake That Burned Down a Forest - Full Length
I Went to a Blowjob Bar in Bangkok, Thailand
In Defense of Times Square
America Runs on Anal
The Crack-Smoking Crime Reporter Who Covered America's Crack Epidemic
What the Fuck Is Going on in 'Lucy'?
The Story of Colorado's DIY Skater Tattoo Parlor
Meet Ratchet Regi, the Ratchet Queen of the Gathering of the Juggalos
Missouri Is a Pill Lover's Paradise