Stuff

Question of the Day - Who You Gonna Bang Tomorrow?

By VICE Staff

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and you know what that means—people gon’ be fuckin’. To find out whose holes are going to be filled with whom, we went out on the streets and asked the populace of the “City That Never Sleeps (Because They Are Always Having Sex)” who they would be making sweet love to tomorrow.

Gus: I will be having sex with nobody tonight. My family is out of town. Sounds like a perfect opportunity right? The guy at the bank today suggested I go to the spa tomorrow.

Cameron: Probably my girlfriend Jenny.

Are you doing anything special?
We’re going to a comedy club.

I mean sexually.
I dunno. We’ll have to see.

Evelyn: I will be sleeping with no one. I will be going out with my best friend Kate, and we will be eating instead of fucking. Eating is really very important. I’m gonna wear my hickey.

Why aren’t you fucking the person that it came from?
Because I don’t want to see that person on Valentine's Day.