Would You Eat Your Family if Your Plane Crashed on an Island and They Were Already Dead?
Apr 13 2012
Welcome to Question of the Day. It gives interns something to do!
“We're all going on a summer vacation, no more worries for a week or two. Fun and laughter on—” Bang. One of the engines blows on the left wing. The plane begins to judder and shake. Little brother Jimmy is scared, “What's gonna happen? Are we gonna die?” he screams, clinging to your arm. As the nose dips the plane begins its steep dive out of the sky and soaring, siren-like noise fills the air. You look around: the other passengers are grabbing for oxygen masks, scrambling around and tripping over each other. Chaos. The plane plummets, faster and faster. Louder and louder. Seconds are left. You look back and see your parents two rows behind you clinging to each other. Your mother is sobbing into your father's chest, she can't bear to look up. Your dad shouts to you, but you can't hear him, you just see him mouthing over and over again, “I love you, I love you...”
Darkness. You wake up in the wreckage. Somehow you're alive, but your family are dead and there are no other survivors. You're on a tropical island. The weather is good, but you could use some lunch. What do you do? You have to survive. Do you eat your dead family?
Lucio, 23, reporter: Yes. I would have to find the guts, so it would take me probably a few days...
VICE: You'd eat their guts first?
No, I mean that in the end, I’d probably do it.
Who would you start with?
I don’t know. I can’t answer that one.
The one who was dead for more days.
But they’d be the least fresh. The youngest would be the most tender.
Well, I have two younger sisters, so I could start from my youngest sister. Sorry Anna-Maria, but I would start with you.
How old is she?
Victor, 29, fashion designer: There was nothing else around?
Then yes, I would.
Which family member would you eat first?
I would start with my nails, definitely. And then after, I’m not sure. I cannot tell you... my sisters.
How many sisters do you have?
I have two.
Which one would you eat first?
The two at the same time, I think.
A veritable feast.
I’m hungry, you know?
Ellie, 28, restauranteur: God! Would I eat my family for survival? Are they the only people there?
And there’s no foliage or nuts and berries to forage?
Only herbs and spices to season your family.
That’s a really difficult one. I suppose I would and I think they’d agree that they would too, if I were part of the dead lot.
Which family member would you start with?
Probably my middle brother 'cos he’s got a little bit of flesh on his stomach, like, the tiniest amount. No one in my family has got any chub, but he might be more fleshy than the others.
He sounds delicious. Do you think he’d be happy if he could hear you now?
No, he’d hate it.
Alison, 25, dance teacher: Probably, if they were already dead.
So you wouldn’t kill them?
Who would you eat first?
I don’t know. If we’re thinking practically, then the one who’s least decayed. The one with the most meat on them.
Who’s your meatiest family member?
Oh God! You’re awful. Dad.
Cleo, 23, shop assistant: No.
Not at all?
Not at all.
Not even if you were about to starve to death?
No, because all my family’s dead.
So you’d prefer to die with them?
Yeah, I’d prefer to die with them.
Noble, but ultimately stupid.
Judy, 30, media researcher: Difficult question, but I think I would. I would start with a leg, I think.
You’ve obviously thought this through. Have you been in this kind of situation before?
No, fortunately not.
Previously - What Will You Do When David Bowie Dies?
Things You Learn Designing Porn Banners for a Living
I Went to a Raëlian Cult Protest for Titties
Stress Makes Me Horny
Superstitious People Are Dismembering Albinos in Tanzania
Voss Water Is Bullshit
Bad Cop Blotter: The Police Aren't So Brave When Someone Has a Weapon
It's a Godlis World: Early Photos of Punk Rock After Dark
VICE News: Water War: Dry in Detroit
Tim and Eric Tell Us About Their Greatest Fears
We Asked a War Correspondent About the Origins of ISIS