Lesley Arfin

  • So, Ahab, Can I Bum My Doobage?

    For tween girls in the 80s, there were two pivotal books you had to read: Forever by Judy Blume and Go Ask Alice by Anonymous (ooh, anonymous! You just knew it was going to be good). Forever taught you about sex--mostly that it is normal for...

  • The VICE Guide to Rehab

    A good rehab is essentially an anarchist socialist commune with one rule: Don't get high.

  • Dear Diary

    I cut my hair. My life is so boring. I'm just waiting for something to happen.

  • Dear Diary

    Last night was Halloween but I didn’t do anything. I stayed home to give out candy but nobody really came to our door. Supposedly there was a fight at Barry Lane, and Ally and Julie went and Marcie and Wendy were there too but I guess I feel like...

  • Dear Diary

    Joey Dipollo came to our school to talk about AIDS. He was so cute.

  • Idle Hands

    Going to jail in Durango, Mexico is easy l.i.v.i.n. It's actually not even really punishment at all, which makes one wonder how a handful of murderers, drugs dealers, rapists, child molesters, and petty thieves can ever get rehabilitated. Guess what...

  • Dear Diary

    CDs were still a new and exciting invention and "Ghetto Bastard" got us really pumped.

  • Lesley Arfin's Tidbits

    Here are some of the volumes that I mine for "Dear Diary" material. These are all the best-looking ones. Most of the others are just marble notebooks with weird scrawlings on them that even I can't read.

  • Dear Diary

    Twin Towers, mental health and drug dealers.

  • Dear Diary

    I love all creatures big and small. Even skinheads. Even you.

  • Dear Diary

    Because this is the Sex Issue, I decided I would copy down my "sex" list.

  • The VICE Guide to Friendship

    Want to know about all the different kinds of friends? Welcome to the Friendship Forest. It can be a treacherous place, but its rewards are warmth, hugs, understanding, and chuckles. The ultimate goal is finding your BFF, but you'll really have to do...