The First Annual Fiction Issue

  • A Cartoon By Flannery O'connor

    Flannery O'Connor's short stories are really funny, but no one ever talks about that. It might be because the jokes aren't haw-haw jokes, or it might be because the humor is so dark that a lot of people don't have the taste for it.

  • Tidbits

    If you're going to release a board game you might as well spend more than ten minutes putting it together. The squares on this game say things like "Someone insults you-miss a turn."

  • And They Rode on in the Friscalating Dusklight

    Oh, so fiction is a waste of time that doesn't teach you anything? Really? Well how about a little piece of fiction called THE BIBLE.

  • Vice Mail

    This is not an ass kiss, more of a sincere thank-you. I am not a part of Vice’s demographic—37, married with three kids, ages 10, 8, and 6.

  • Out By Holy Land

    I hate Stew but he sells weed. So one Saturday, me, Mike, and Mike’s brother Ross drive Stew’s fuck-friend Boudreau out to Stew’s house to cop.

  • Mister Elegant

    Don’t ask how I know this, but the next time you think you’re fat, there’s a whole lot worse way you can look.

  • Coming of Age

    See, he's not my proper son, not by blood, like, but I adter take him on as family when I married his mother, didn't I? Ad no choice in the matter. I mean yeh can tell he’s not one of mine just by looking at him; more meat on a jockey’s whip.

  • From The Diaper of Big Baby Jesus

    The following is a conversation I recorded between Ol' Dirty Bastard and Clint Eastwood at a special screening in Los Angeles for the film The Bridges of Madison County. This is only a small portion of a much-longer four-hour-plus transcript.

  • Limited Edition Job

    I had been tipped off in advance that Dave wanted to see me. A cross between David Koresh and David Ike dressed from head to toe in Japanese street wear brands, Dave was the owner of the trendy clothes shop I worked in.

  • Games

    This had mixed reviews everywhere but I like it. It’s one of those uncomplicated shooting games that you can play without having to stretch your brain too much.

  • Public Hair

    Yesterday there was a pretty girl sitting with her girlfriends in front of my wife and me at a movie and most of the time all I could see of her was her hair. When you were sitting behind girls in classrooms in grade school, their hair could drive you...

  • Books On A Budget

    Do you like spending shitloads of money on stuff you don't really need? I mean who are you, really, if you can't drop a couple thou here and there on what-ever-the-fuck? What's the point of even drawing another breath if you can't live a little?