Jamie Taete's Internet Landfill

MOST DEPRESSING PERSON ON EARTH APOLOGISES TO SELENA GOMEZ

At least he's sorry. Hopefully him and Selena can work things out so she can get one of his special "birthday dances".

If your boss just caught you looking at this, tell him there's nothing NWS about it. It's actually "just a form of entertainment and a fun way to excerise one's lower back."

TOM HANKS' SON HAS MOVED ON FROM HIS BIT PART IN THE BRATZ MOVIE

According to his Facebook page, rapper Chet Haze was "born and raised on the West Side of the Westside's main city LA". Which I guess is TECHINICALLY true as, geographically, he was born and raised in a place that is located to the west. But what he isn't mentioning here is that the "West Side" he's referring to is actually Beverley Hills, and, more specifically, the inside of the house owned by his dad Tom Hanks. Here is a song he made:

His Facebook goes on to say that "Chet's days consist of chilling with his boys, attending class, and taking care of business. However, his nights consist of absolutely murdering tracks, and living what he is really spitting." So what is he living? Here's a sample of his spittings:

- "Got the track blastin'/get a keg up in the house/that's frattin'"

- "Hitting blunts after hitting books"

- "Got a call from my brothers in the frat house/I'm with my girl trying to get up under that blouse/she's a freshman/she's a freak though/in the bed, but a lady in the street yo"

- "Hear the neighbors talk, but you know they be losin'/I'm trying to walk the walk for the major of my choosin'"

Damn, them streets sound rough. Maybe Tom should have spent more time reading books to his son and less time hanging around in airports and out on desert islands with baseballs.

WORLD'S MOST HILARIOUS HEAD-SHOT DISCOVERED

I was browsing through some new press releases this morning, when I came across one for some jewellery designer called Jonathan Arndt announcing that he'd designed some earrings for Carrie Underwood to wear at the Golden Globes which – well meh, good for you guy. The reason I'm bothering to mention this here is the picture of the designer that accompanies the release:

AHAHAHAHAHA! I have been looking at this and whispering "shhh" for over an hour now and still the tears stream down my face.

MULTIPLE PARTIES CLAIMING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE WORST THING EVER

According to Punknews.org (I have no fucking clue how I ended up on that website):

"Patricia Day, lead singer and bassist of the Horrorpops has filed a lawsuit against toymaker Mattel, claiming that her likeness was appropriated for their line of "Hard Rock Barbie" dolls, released last spring. The doll in question has "Long black hair, retro tattoos, red fingernails, fishnets and a decorated bass fiddle to give this doll true rockabilly style." The lawsuit was filed last week in Indiana District Court. Day claims that Mattel obtained licenes for other dolls in the set from the likes of Blondie's Deborah Harry, Joan Jett and Cyndi Lauper, but not her. Day's filing is seeking injunctive relief and unspecified punitive damages"

So just to be clear, somebody is actually going to court to argue that she is responsible for this:

Yikes.

JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE