The past few days have been interesting for Toronto mayor and controversy-catalyst, Rob Ford. After a well-documented series of gaffes, including being forcibly removed from sporting events for being drunk and disorderly and being caught drunk driving in possession of weed, a Toronto drug dealer now claims to have footage of Ford smoking crack cocaine.
No papers have yet been able to get a hold of the tape – reportedly because the dealer is demanding too much money for it – but that speculation has only fired up more interest in the case. While we bide our time, waiting for this supposed tape to emerge andprove whether Ford really has been smoking crack, I thought it would be fun to go and ask some strangers an incredibly important question: Which politician would you most like to do drugs with?
Mike, videographer: Boris, surely. He’d just talk absolute shit, wouldn’t he? He’d just spout some nonsense for a bit and then he’d just fall asleep in a really hilarious position. Then he’d wake himself up and be like, "What the fuck?"
VICE: What would you want to do with him?
Boris on acid would be pretty hilarious. It would get weird.
Chad, illustrator: Prescott, probably. He’s just a bit of a boy, isn't he? He’s the only one who’s made me laugh in the last 20 years, really.
When he punched that guy in the face?
Yeah, that was about it. It’s not gonna be Ed Miliband, is it? I would spike Mr Cameron, though.
Yeah, of course – I think everyone would. Do a – what’s that film? – Dead Man’s Shoes in the tea kettle-type thing. Yeah man, he needs it. He’s fucked up too many people, you know what I mean?
Fair enough. Anyone more historical?
I’d like to get high with Malcolm X, because he was a bit of a boy. I’d spike Louis Farrakhan as well.
A man who enjoys his spiking.
Jess (only Jess wanted to be pictured) and Angela, both on holiday from LA.
Jess: I’d love to smoke pot with President Obama.
Angela: No, I'd say with Hillary.
Jess: And maybe some MDMA instead of pot.
Angela: Let’s go – we don’t have time for this.
That was a whirlwind.
James, "creative": Boris Johnson. He looks like he’s tried just about everything – him and his entire cabinet. I’d say he’s done a bit of crystal meth, definitely a casual pot smoker.
What about someone more historical?
Maggie Thatcher. She wasn’t called the Iron Lady because she was rigorous in her right-wing politics, it was because she could handle a lot of coke and still stand.
She was the lady with the iron belly.
Yeah, iron stomach and iron nostrils.
Georgina, 21, student, from Canada: I think Rob would be a laugh. There are some good Quebecois politicians, as well. The mayor of Montreal [Michael Applebaum] is quite hilarious, too; he’s quite a character.
So what do you think you’d get up to with Rob?
I bet he’s probably crashing a speed boat somewhere as we speak. One hopes, anyway. It’s so funny that you’re talking about this; this is the last place I’d expect to be talking about Canadian politics.
Discussing Canadian politics is probably stretching it a bit.
Oh, OK. Besides politics, it would probably be fun to just get on a plane, fly to Copenhagen and do some drugs in Christiania. You might as well go big, right?
Where would you end up at the end of the night?
Hopefully not with Rob, because he’s pretty foul. Just sit, watch the sunrise, probably see a unicorn.
Rosie (left) and Jat.
Rosie, “just answers phones”: That funny guy with the blonde hair.
Jat, graphic designer: Boris?
Yeah, he’s been our most popular.
Rosie: I don’t think I’d really want to hang out with any politicians ever. They’re all fat and ugly.
Jat: Nelson Mandela’s a bit of a dude.
Rosie: I’d like to have a glass of wine with Princess Diana.
Nothing too wild then?
Rosie: No, I'd keep it chilled out. Maybe Jackie Kennedy. She’s mysterious; you’d learn a lot about her.
Where would the night end up?
Probably in the White House swimming pool, in a 50s bathing suit with a cocktail.
Previously - What's the Best YouTube Video You've Ever Seen?