The Best Kinky BDSM Clothing, According to a Dominatrix

Everyone’s conch shell call to BDSM gear is different. Maybe you were lucky enough to see The Matrix’s latex on the big screen, or lick a drumstick at Medieval Times while leather-clad actors flailed at each other. Whatever your kinky awakening was, and however far you rode it into actual dom-sub roleplay, you probably racked up a few questions about what constitutes the best dominatrix clothes and gear.

There’s a million different ways to dom and be dommed, m’lord. That’s why we asked practicing dominatrix, voice actor, and trans-non-binary BDSM/kink educator Jax-Prince Cottrell about how to start getting into dominatrix clothes and accessories. “I’ve literally dommed in jeans, Converse [sneakers], a PlayStation hoodie, and a fucking Pokémon baseball cap,” they told VICE. “It’s largely based on what, yes, you as a dom enjoy wearing, but sometimes my clients and subs will make requests to see me in something.” 

Cottrell has been domming for over 15 years, and opened up to VICE about not only their favorite dom gear, but all the green (and red) flags to look out for as you curate your own collection of dominatrix clothes, whether you’re casually dipping your toes into the practice or going full hog. Fasten your gag balls, and let’s ride. 

First and foremost, says Cottrell, learn if you have any kind of fabric allergies to popular materials such as latex and leather, because, as they explain, “There is nothing worse than shelling out thousands for an outfit only to realize you breakout in hives every time you wear the bloody thing.” While they find latex incredibly sexy, they personally love to perform in materials that allow for a lot of movement, especially during more intense sessions where they’re using their full body. “One of my favorite pieces, and one that my subs and clients especially love are my sheer bodysuits with some kind of design on them,” they say, “particularly ones that cling to my body, and emphasize my breasts and ass.” If Cottrell had to make a shortlist of their favorite brands and places to shop, they say that Agreeable Agony, The Pleasure Chest, Leg Avenue, NipSlipped, Savage x Fenty, and The Stockroom are all great places to start looking for toys, gear, and apparel for every budget, from versatile wide fishnet bodysuits to gold mesh catsuits.

You can cop BDSM gear on pretty much every major sexual wellness site these days, including Babeland, PinkCherry, Unbound Babes, Lovehoney—hell, you can even find highly-rated floggers and riding crops on Amazon to throw in your cart along with those color-changing light bulbs and hot honey. 

Lovehoney also has a well-stocked selection of horny lingerie and plus size dominatrix clothing, including this fishnet “bodystocking” with a crotchless and cupless design and a very James Bond-esque faux-leather, zipper bodysuit. Just listen to your body and what makes you feel most comfortable. As Cottrell says, “I perform a happy medium of wearing things that both allow me freedom, fun, and functionality.” 

If you’re looking for some jock strap support, why not try a mesh male leotard, or a pair of faux leather open-crotch boxers? They’ll also look great at Jacob Riis beach this summer. 

Going for rope play? Agreeable Agony has curated an entire beginner’s kit to wax play and shibari that has earned a five-star average rating from over 4,900 reviews. It includes three 30-foot bundles of bondage rope, safety shears, low temp wax candles, and drawstring satin storage bags “for keeping your kit safe when you travel to the dungeon.” You can also find plenty of instruction booklets on its Etsy shop as well. 

Don’t underestimate the power of shoes, either. “For footwear,” says Cottrell, “I like to emphasize my height (as well as physically lauding my stature over my submissives) by wearing 6- to 12-inch heels, and I always wear heels that come with a stiletto spike strong enough to impale a bull elephant.” This is also great, they say, for clients who love being stepped on or receiving cock and ball torture. ASOS has plenty of towering satin pumps for $50, and you could lean into some yeehawsexual energy with a pair of cowboy pole dancing stilettos to try something extra spicy. 

If you’re serious about getting into domming or BDSM, seek out the tutelage of doms in dungeons, says Cottrell. Take time to develop your sense of style, and don’t be afraid to get creative with accessories; it’s about layering harnesses and slipping into Michelle Pfeiffer-worthy cat claws just as much as it can be about getting hog-tied with hemp rope and pretending you’re Babe the pig. “For all aspiring doms,” Cottrell stresses, “if a client or sub wants to see you in a certain outfit, MAKE THEM PAY FOR THE OUTFIT. I had a client that wanted to see me in a $2,000 full latex outfit that I was only gonna wear once. I made him shell out the money for it, on top of my usual fees.” 

Learn more about Jax-Prince Cottrell’s work on their website. Next up? Turning your living room into a horny playpen. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.