What's New in Meat VI
Feb 7 2013
It’s time to ask the age old question, what’s new in meat? And generally feel unclean, upset, and weirdly hungry for chicken nuggets.
SECOND HAND EATING
You’ve been told enough times that eating meat, especially heavily barbequed meat, is bad for you so we won’t go into that. The world’s shitty enough without not having sausages to help make life bearable. But something we haven’t heard before is the news that just smelling meat is considered to be ingesting it, and can lead to the same low birth weights, cancers and heart disease that are linked to eating it. Reports have shown that cooks working in kitchens who prepare lots of cooked meat have an increased rate of respiratory cancer than those who work in less meaty environments.
HORSE MEAT IN THE GOLD COAST
A week ago we were rubbing it in England’s face that our meats were horse free and proud. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Perth butcher Vince Garreffa, the only person licensed to sell horse in Australia, confirmed this week that horse meat was being supplied to some Gold Coast restaurants. He hasn’t named who was selling the meat, so it’s probably best to veer on the side of caution and not go to the GC for a while.
SQUIRREL, THE OTHER, OTHER WHITE MEAT
Move over dolphin, there is a new protected delicacy in town. Vendors in the Muang district of Bangkok have been arrested for allegedly smuggling the meat of protected squirrels across the border to sell as an expensive delicacy. At the time of the arrest, the men were in possession of 16 dead flying squirrels and 5 kg of barking deer meat. Party at that guys house.
TAINTED DUCK MEAT
A meat-disguising gang has been arrested in China for selling duck meat as mutton. Which doesn’t seem that bad, but the group of 34 was soaking the meat in chemicals, mutton fat and a bunch of other additives to disguise its flavor and appearance. The fraudulent meat contained 2,000 times the legal limit of sodium nitrite. Incase anyone at home is thinking about carrying out a similar scam, here’s a tip for selling duck as mutton. Tell them it’s delicious duck rather than gross mutton.
CROCODILE SOUP FOR THE SOUL
Crocodiles can give us more than delicious steaks, classy handbags and terrifying nightmares. According to Asia One, meat taken from their chests, tails and genitals is believed to have medicinal properties that could enhance a woman's beauty. You were probably going to chow down on some crocodile wang anyway, but according to famed Sarawakian crocodile handler Indet Sanabong mixing it with ginseng in a soup will make your skin smooth and clear.
Previously - What's New in Meat V
AssMatrix.com Analyzes the Asses of the Masses
Should We Televise the Trials of Famous Murderers?
Having a Tibetan Sky Burial Means Birds Will Slowly Eat Your Corpse
I Had to Survive London Fashion Week on Free Gifts Alone
The Scottish Independence Campaign Lost Because It Didn't Win Over Glasgow's Poor
Time-Travel Movies Are Garbage
Cambodian Surf Rockers Were Awesome, but the Khmer Rouge Killed Them
I Dressed Like an Idiot at Fashion Week to See How Easy It Is to Get Street-Snapped
The Ultimate Basic Bitch Tournament
The Future of Our Gay Neighborhoods