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Australia's Indian Test Tour Report Card: A -

All the most important questions answered: Who did good? Who blew it? Who got mad at who? And who nearly shit themselves on TV?
Image: Youtube

A test tour of India is the toughest challenge in cricket. It's hot, it's muggy, it's agitating, and that's before you face a delivery from the greatest test cricket nation on earth.

How did we do?

Yeah, we did good. We did really good. Australia were patchy in the lead up to the series, getting spanked 3-0 away against the seventh-ranked Sri Lankan test side -- a terrible, terrible result. They got home and were smacked 2-1 by the second-ranked South African test team. Still very not good. They then trounced the fifth-ranked Pakistan test team 3-0 in Australia before setting off for India where many predicted a total fail.

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"If Australia play well, India will win 3-0. That is if Australia play well. Otherwise, 4-0," said legendary former-Indian spinner and serial shit-talker, Harbhajan Singh in the lead up. Instead we put on a real show, winning the first test in Pune (see below) and pushing India to the brink in the series before ultimately losing out in the final test for a 2-1 finish. Very respectable.

Who did good?

Steve Smith

The skipper had one of the great test tours of India of any batsmen, ever. His three centuries in the series is a first for any Australian in India. While his second innings century to guide Australia to victory in Pune will go down as one of the greatest in his career. Coach Darren Lehmann described his form as 'Bradman-like.'

Nathan Lyons

The at times maligned spinner posted career best figures of 8-50 in Bangalore and followed it up with another five wicket haul, a four wicket innings, plus a couple more for a total of 19 out at an average of 25.99 runs per wicket.

Who blew it?

David Warner

The worst tour of India for an Aussie opener in 37 years. Hard to believe given his form on home turf. In 33 tests on Australian soil Warner has smashed a remarkable 3257 runs at an average of 52.91.

His form away from home is becoming a major concern though. He made just 193 runs in eight starts against India at an average of 24.12. He also failed during Australia's abysmal showing against Sri Lanka, racking up just 163 runs in three tests at an average of 27.16.

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Shaun Marsh

Dug in for an important 53 to save a draw in Ranchi and put up 66 in a losing effort at Bangalore. His other scores of 16,0,9,2,4,1, however, were far below what was required from one the lynchpins of our middle order.

Who got mad at who?

The obligatory Indian test tour boil over did not disappoint. The Indians are the best test team on earth. They own the top two best bowlers in the test arena, and two of the top ten batsmen. They are pretty much unbeatable at home but don't just like to win. They prefer to destroy teams mentally, emotionally and leave their memories of touring the sub-continent as hellish as possible. Australia went down swinging and it unnerved the Indians.

A series of petulant blow ups between several players from both teams throughout the series climaxed following the fourth and final test when the Indians refused to meet up for drinks with the Australian team to bury the hatchett. This is considered tradition for touring test teams and we know how much cricket loves tradition. Captain Virat Kohli followed up the drinks-snub by saying he is no longer friends with anyone in the Australian team following the bad blood in this series.

"No, it has changed. I thought that was the case, but it has changed for sure. As I said, in the heat of the battle you want to be competitive but I've been proven wrong," replied Kohli when asked whether he remained friends with the Australians.

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"The thing I said before the first Test (that he had friends in the Australian team), that has certainly changed and you won't hear me say that ever again."

Who nearly shit themselves on TV?

Only Matt Renshaw. The 20-year-old Australian rookie on his first tour to India was baptised with a ring of fire on the opening day of play. He was on 36 (from 89 balls) in his first innings when he realised his sphincter was not up to the task of holding this watery demon. He took off for the toilet, sprinting past a perplexed Australian captain, Steve Smith, on the way and relieved himself. Legendary former-Australian test cricket captain and rusted-on hardman, Allan Border, was not impressed.

"I hope he's lying on the table in there half dead," said Border on the Fox Sports telecast. "Otherwise, as captain, I would not be happy."