On the grounds of a castle with nearly 800 years of history, a small flock of black swans unleash feathered whoopass on unsuspecting visitors.
Because watching people get chased and attacked by birds is hilarious, YouTuber DokuNaut has spent seven years documenting the swans’ reign of terror. He lives near the castle—called Schloss Ringenberg, situated on the Lower Rhine River in Germany—and watches the hellbirds assault old people, bridal parties, children and grown men.
Here we see one of the swans merely look sideways at a couple of children, and send them screaming and running:
Facing a full-throttle swan charge, this adult man jumps up on a park bench and tries to scare it off with his own unimpressive wingspan (it doesn’t work):
“All [these] funny scenes happened in front of my living room window and so I decided to film it, because I found it very interesting to watch this interaction between civilized humans and uncivilized animals,” Jo, who runs the channel as well as several other channels and a video production company called SupraNaut, told me in an email. “Other people found it funny too and so I decided to upload on YT.”
One woman lays down the law on these punk ass swans, showing up decked in pastel pink to assert dominance. She succeeds:
Another brave soul, this time a photographer poking his lens too close to the swans, tried to get the action shot and ended up in awkward hand-to-wing combat:
You never come out of a fight with a swan not looking like the asshole. Maybe he could learn something from the speed-slap warriors of YouTube.
It’s easy to mock these people as they’re owned repeatedly by waterfowl, but a first-person point of view look at an attack makes me think twice about messing with the swans myself:
PSA: Swans are generally not fond of large mammals like humans in their territory, and will not hesitate to fuck your shit up.