LGBTQ Muslims Condemn Guide for Muslim Parents Dealing With Ontario’s New Sex Ed Curriculum

In his 20s, Amir*, a transgender Muslim man, fled his home country for Canada because he assumed his religion would never accept him.

He was wrong.

The 45-year-old, who does not want to be identified due to privacy reasons, said he received a blessing to go through with his transition from a high-ranking imam, a step he credits with gaining his family's support.

Now Amir is condemning a online guide for Muslim parents on how to navigate Ontario's new sex-ed curriculum, claiming that its author—a principal at a Muslim school—is perpetuating homophobic and transphobic views.

"She's talking about Islam and she doesn't represent Islam," Amir told VICE. "As a principal, if she wants to do good for the kids, she needs to do more research… because she can save people's lives."

Rolling out this school year, the province's updated curriculum addresses topics like same-sex relationships, gender identity, consent and masturbation. Despite being fairly banal by modern standards, it has been subject to much controversy, with many parents hosting demonstrations and pulling their kids from school this week as a sign of protest; roughly 35,000 Toronto schoolchildren were absent following the unveiling of the curriculum last spring.

To "help" Muslim parents wade through the new subject matter, Farrah Marfatia, principal of Mississauga's Maingate Islamic Academy, recently released a guide called "How to talk to your Muslim child about topics in the Ontario Ministry of Education's health education curriculum."

It's filled with charming nuggets like this:

"Homosexuality is considered to be a sin in all major monotheistic religions including Islam." And, "Anal sex is not allowed for Muslims because it is an act committed by homosexuals and leads to sickness and is one of the deadly sins in Islam." It also references a story from the Qur'an in which people engaging in anal sex were punished with a "shower of stones."

On gender identity, the guide says: "If you are born a boy, your gender identity is Male. If you are born a girl, your gender identity is Female. You cannot be a boy if you are born a girl and you cannot be a girl if you are born a boy. Allah does not make mistakes. We cannot go against what Allah wants for us because Allah knows what is best for us."

Marfatia declined an interview with VICE for this story on account of being "busy." Speaking to the Toronto Star, she said her guide is targeted at Muslim parents of kids in public schools and that imams and public school teachers "gave it their stamp of approval." As of Monday, Marfatia said the guide had received 2,500 views.

Amir pointed to Egypt's Al-Azhar University, an Islamic institution where an on site therapist is trained to help trans individuals, as proof that Marfatia is misinformed.

"This is really ignorant," he said. Recalling his own isolated past, he stressed the importance of having good information available to young Muslims.

"If I was a suicidal person, I would have been gone a long time ago."

Toronto social worker Rahim Thawer, 30, who is Muslim and queer-identified, said the guide callously puts faith and being LGBTQ at odds.

"By talking about a Muslim interpretation of the curriculum that excuses LGBT people, she's literally erasing our existence," he said. "Anybody who hasn't written off LGBT people might do so because she's spoken with a kind of authority about what Islam is."

In a section that seems contrary to communication in a Snapchat era, Marfatia advocates for "segregation" when kids enter Grade 4.

"Boys should play with boys and girls should play with girls," she writes. "This concept of segregation should extend into the world of social media and electronics; children should avoid texting or building online relationships with persons of the opposite sex."

Farzana Doctor, a Toronto-based registered social worker and author, characterized that advice as "foolhardy."

"An approach that keeps different people separate only reinforces misunderstanding, stereotypes and sexism," she said.

Doctor believes Marfatia's words are dangerous, especially for young members of the LGBTQ community.

"If they perceive they're doing something sinful or they can't speak to any of the individuals around them to get some support, they're going to be incredibly isolated," she said.

"What do incredibly isolated young people do—they hurt themselves, they kill themselves."

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