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Will Netflix’s 'Castlevania' Series Keep the Goat Sex Stuff?

What is man but a miserable pile of weird goat lust.
Image: Konami

This week Netflix revealed a few of its future original series, including a full Iron Fist trailer, casting details about The Magic School Bus and, most unexpectedly, a series based on the Konami monster bashing video game series Castlevania. There aren't many official details from Netflix, other than that the series will begin later this year. A number of the people have been attached to the series, including producer Adi Shankar who said he was working on a "dark, satirical" version of the story in 2015, and Michael Hirsh, who on the other hand called it "a venture into kids' programming." The most exciting detail though is that Warren Ellis, the writer responsible for Planetary and Transmetropolitan, remains attached. And the last time we heard about Ellis' Castlevania script it began with goat fucking.

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In 2006, Warren Ellis announced he was working on a script for Castlevania, and illustrator James Jean made some real 'purdy art for it. Back then, the film was aiming for a direct-to-DVD release and was primarily based on Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse. It would have included many of the fan favourite characters from the game, including vampire slayer Trevor Belmont, defiant son-of-Dracula Alucard, helpful witch Sypha Belnades, and no-really-that's-his-name pirate captain Grant Danasty.

The film project was spoken about for a number of years until it silently drowned out into that symphony of the night. Though it seemed like that project was not meant to be, Ellis gifted excerpts of the script to the web. What stuck for many people is that these excerpts had goat sex. As goat sex in a movie typically would. Stick out. For people. That is.

The scene, apparently the cold open, starts with two Transylvanian yocals talking about their romantic trysts with goats. "And he says to me, I know your goat is in love with me," says one Transylvanian, Bosha. "So you said 'how?' Bosha?" says the other, Kob. "So I said, 'how?' And he says, well, she fucks me, doesn't she?"

Oh those wacky, wacky Transylvanians living under the terror of Dracula.

It is important to note that, while there has been many rituals and blood sacrifices in the video game series, there has yet to be raunchy occult goat tomfoolery, unlike the sort hinted at in recent Netflix staple The Witch. Also worth noting is that Konami was pretty cool about it. The question now is what Netflix's plans are for the project, and how much this version will resemble the one Ellis penned ten years ago. And all I'm going to say is that when the most talked about element of your script is a horny goat, why give up on that momentum?