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Someone Blew Up a 7-Eleven Microwave Trying to Warm Urine

Police think the culprit was trying to heat up some clean pee to pass a drug test at work.
May 31, 2017, 3:30pm
Photo via Flickr user Mike Mozart

Weed may be legal in Oregon, but that doesn't mean every employer in the state is down with their staff getting ripped on the job like they're Joe Rogan. Drug tests are still a thing, which means that the need for clean urine to pass a drug test is still a thing, too.

According to police in Beaverton, Oregon, that classic quest for drug-free pee led to an explosion and subsequent evacuation of a 7-Eleven convenience store, KATU reports.

On Tuesday, authorities were called to the store because the staff had noticed that something strange exploded in the microwave people usually use for their taquitos or whatever. Worried it could be some kind of bomb, the police department sent out its explosives unit to investigate.

But when the team opened up the microwave, it found a urine sample inside wrapped in a hand warmer. Apparently the pee cup's owner wasn't satisfied with its temperature and decided to zap whole thing in the store's microwave.

"It appears that whoever was on his/her way to do a drug test did not feel that it was warm enough," police spokesman Mike Rowe said in a press release. "The chemical makeup of the hand warmer did not agree with the microwave and exploded."

Whoever caused the explosion is still at large, and probably anxiously searching for another sample of clean pee. Maybe next time they'll just tape a condom full of urine to the inside of their leg, like normal people do.