IN YOUR FACE RACISTS, WE JUST VINDALOOED AGAINST VIOLENCE!

A bunch of jerks in Melbourne think bashing the most polite, cheerful, happiest-to-do-even-the-shittiest-jobs people in the world is a legitimate form of self-validation. Obviously, we disagree. To prove it, we decided to eat Indian food for lunch today as part of a state-wide curry-fest aimed at showing Victoria's bullied and downtrodden Indian students how much we love them.

Here we are on Brunswick Street ready to strike a blow against racism by eating some delicious ethnic food. We felt like the Guardian Angels.

Strangely, the first restaurant we went to was closed. Maybe they didn't get the memo.

The next establishment we went to was also shut. Hello Indians, we're trying to show you we've shaken off our colonial notions of superiority by paying you to serve us lunch!
As it turned out, a total of four places were closed which lead us to wonder if it was true that we didn't speak to Indian people enough.

Finally we chanced upon a place that was open. Amazingly, it turned out to be our favourite anyway. We asked the waiter here (we didn't ask his name because waiters think that's patronising) what he thought about anti Indian violence. He said that he believed it wasn't racially motivated but rather, a sad coincidence that Indian students with shitty late night jobs are often on their way home when drunken yobs are at their most yobbish. Controversial stuff, but hey, he is an Indian guy. Maybe it's like Martin Lawrence being allowed to say the N word, or Eddy Murphy being allowed to make fun of gay people.

So anyway, here's our Vindaloo Against Violence feast. It was delicious and inexpensive, exactly how we like our food. When we were done, our waiter comped us some gulab jamon aka delectable milk dumplings. Thanks guys. Our relationships with India and our stomachs are on the up and up.