Interviews and dates aren’t all that different, especially if, like me, you insist on only interviewing people that you have a massive crush on. Eventually, my editor suggested it might be safer for all parties involved if we just called the interview a date from the start.
When I first heard that I was going on a date with Sky Ferreira, I logged straight onto Facebook to humblebrag. Several actual dreams I’d had were about to come true, and no I can’t tell you what they were.
I’ve been a Sky fan since the very beginning, when it was just plain creepy. Back when she was 16, Sky was just a doe-eyed, teenage Tumblr celebrity whose syrupy pop couldn’t quite catch her a break. Since then I’ve followed her every move, watching her grow into the reluctant pop icon (and sexy loose cannon) she is today.
After a few years in the music industry wilderness, my interest in Sky was pricked by that Dev Hynes produced track, "Everything is Embarrassing", for which the video is one long, insanely hot selfie. Then she put out Night Time My Time, an album of Courtney-esque lust, heartbreak and betrayal (with her boobs on the cover). And then, finally, last September, she got busted for carrying ecstasy and resisting arrest. What’s not to love about Sky? She’s got the tortured eyes of a former child star, the demeanour of someone permanently on Quaaludes, and looks really fit in an orange jumpsuit. I genuinely haven’t felt this way about anyone since Lindsay Lohan.
Yet, when I arrived for our date I realised there were a few problems. Firstly, Sky has a boyfriend - her partner in crime, Zachary Cole Smith from the band DIIV. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve hooked up with people who are taken before (so has Sky, as I would later find out), but how would I penetrate the perfect indie couple?
Worse yet, what if Sky didn’t turn up? She has a reputation for being unreliable, cancelling shows and interviews, and when she still hadn’t arrived after twenty minutes I began to panic that I’d face this fate too soon. Thankfully, just moments later Sky appeared looking hot and unimpressed and flopped down next to me in a giant, green parka that she did not take off for our entire date. As I attempted to engage her in small talk, she gazed around the room, either shy or just plain uninterested and started to apply her lipstick.
Noisey: Are you putting that on for me?
Sky: Haha! Does lipstick help chapped lips?
I don't know... sooooo, would you prefer your first date to be romantic or sleazy?
Sleazy, I guess, cause it’s funnier.
So you don’t go for dinners in fancy hotels like this?
Not a hotel, that’s just weird. I guess I’d want go to the cinema so we don’t have to talk. First dates are so awkward.
What was your most awkward first date, please don’t say this one.
Ha. I guess one of my first dates my mom came. I was like thirteen and this boy came to pick me up from my school and my mom took us back to my house and I remember making out with him in the basement while my mom was right upstairs. He was about 8ft tall, not joking. I came up to his waist. And my cousin was watching us make out through the window.
Er, that is more awkward than I was expecting.
I don’t know. I don’t really go on dates. They’re always accidental. Like guys say, “do you wanna hang out?” to trick you into a date.
Like when guys say “do you wanna watch a movie in bed?” to trick you into sex?
Yeah but I mean just with hanging out!
So you have a boyfriend now? Zach, right? How long have you been together?
Over a year.
So basically what you’re saying is that we’re having a secret affair in an anonymous hotel.
Haha yeah I guess.
If he knew you were on a date with a girl would he mind?
Yeah probably, it’s the same as going on a date with anyone. We’re not really into sharing. Although at one point everyone thought I was a lesbian…
Uh, Miley Cyrus. I think my boyfriend actually thought it was true though. Every time she calls me or whatever he still gets weirdly jealous so I guess he would mind if I went on a date with a girl.
Does Zachary take you on dates?
We went to the aquarium the other day. That was kind of a date. But we live together so you could say we’re always on a date. When we first met we used to go on van dates.
Like we used to just sit in his van.
Oh. What did these van dates involve?
A lot of driving.
And making out in the van?
Yeah. Like when you were 16.
I ask Sky if they ever had sex in the back of the van, mostly just cause I know it will embarrass her, and I’m right, she giggles nervously like she does when she’s on stage. Her laugh is addictively dorky. By this point she’s stopped looking at the floor and we’re making eye contact. Her green cat eyes are strangely intense when they’re finally trained on you. I shift uncomfortably and ask her another question about Zach. Admittedly, asking someone about their boyfriend isn’t the best tactic for a first date, but she seems to light up when he’s the topic of conversation and I know how to play the long game.
How did you meet Zach?
It was at a party. I kept hearing about him but I’d never really met him face to face. I played 12 shows at CMJ in New York and I didn’t drink till like the 11th one and me and my friend Grant were at this party after I’d played and I was just so drunk. I don’t know any other way to say it. I was just so drunk. And I got like tag teamed sort of…
Hahaha not in that kinda way. I mean someone had a mic and another guy had a video camera and I was sitting on a couch and they started filming me and asking all these questions and I was obviously so drunk. Zach had to like dive in - haha “DIIV in” - and rescue me. I think he was actually on a date though.
On a date with someone else?
Yeah and then we made out.
In front of her?
That’s terrible. And yet I feel weirdly proud of you.
I mean it was really bad. I was so embarrassed in the morning and I didn’t know this but I had to play a show with him the next day too.
Well better to have to see him than her?
Well she was there.
Oh. Was she actually his girlfriend?
No no, she wasn’t his girlfriend. I think it was just some thing that obviously didn’t last very long.
Kind of yeah. Maybe I don’t know. Ha.
Too late you said it.
Yep too late. ANYWAYS I didn’t expect to do this show with him. I go to sound check and I see them trying to get into the same building so I was like “we’re not sound checking”. I literally ran off the stage and hid behind a trashcan from him. I was like dumpster diving. I was so embarrassed for like a month.
Did you not hook up again for a while then?
Not till like a month later. Spotify was like having people do songs together or something so they paired us together and from then on we started dating.
In September last year Sky and Zach got picked up by police on the highway and arrested. She was found with ecstasy in her possession and he reportedly had forty two bags of heroin on his person. FORTY TWO. The press have accused her of having a drug addiction time and time again, to which she’s responded “I’m the world’s first heroin addict that’s never taken heroin.” [Guardian]. Today she seems fine, characteristically witty if a little washed out. I suppose the most controversial aspect of her arrest was her flippancy about it, given that she’s a perceived as a role model. All I can say is that if she is a role model, she taught teenagers how to be fucking hilarious when they get arrested in a drugs bust.
My favourite thing you’ve ever said is when you got arrested and you were like, “I can’t believe you’re making me wear Crocs, this must be the real punishment.”
Hahaha they were orange too.
To match the jumpsuit?
Yeah. That’s what I should wear on my first date, Crocs. So you could tell if the person actually likes you or not. I think that could be a deal breaker. But could you imagine who wore those crocs before me? That’s what I kept thinking about, crack heads in Crocs.
It would have to be someone quite strangely small for prison though.
Actually I have quite big feet for the rest of me for some reason, I’m like a US 9.
For me Crocs are as bad as Toms. Even though they’re for charity.
Yeah I don’t like Toms. I like what they’re for I just don’t like wearing them.
What’s the one thing if I was wearing on this date that you would just be like, “no” immediately?
Other than Crocs? Ha, I don’t know, maybe cause I’m always looking at the floor or something I always know what the person’s shoes were when I met them.
Oh no, are mine ok? (I’m wearing a beaten up pair of black platform Superga).
Yeah those are so fine but I’ve definitely met people with flip-flops on and now when I see them I just see their toes and their feet. People shouldn’t wear flip-flops unless they’re literally on the beach.
Well hopefully you won’t see any of that in London. Are you staying in this hotel? What room number?
Yeah. It’s actually like a nice hotel. I went to Paris yesterday and I stayed somewhere nice. I mean usually I’m stuck at the Ibis or something. I guess it’s all happening if I’m not staying at the Best Western and there’s not like blood on the floor or something or like dead hookers. I don’t know. I’ve stayed in some disgusting hotels.
You’re playing a show here in the basement tonight, right? I think I’m coming.
Yeah. Is it like, a party? I don’t really know, I saw a flyer for it. It looked like a party flyer. Which is cool cause now I don’t have to play like an hour or something.
What will it be, like half an hour?
Probably like 45 minutes and then they’ll probably kick me off or something. Maybe. For the DJ.
Who’s the DJ?
I have no idea, I’m just assuming there’s a DJ.
Can you DJ?
Umm I can pretend that I DJ. Isn’t that what everyone does? But I’m kind of a jerk when I DJ ‘cause I just play whatever I want. I clear the dance floor. I’m pretty selfish. One time I did barking dogs that sing different songs. Haha. Or like Britney Spears.
Yeah I thought that was great! But no one else did.
Let’s request Britney later!
As I told Sky I better get going, she suddenly became talkative, telling me that yesterday she had done eight interviews and been asked the same old questions over and over again. She complained of one journalist who had asked what her beauty regime was. “I shower,” answered Sky. “What beauty products do you use on you skin?” the woman probed. “Water” grumbled Sky. “What cosmetics do you swear by?” “Uh, eyeliner.” Sky Ferreira was not an easy interview let alone date. I envisaged this poor woman scurrying back to the Elle office with her dictaphone between her legs and realised my date hadn’t gone so bad after all. Ok so we didn’t hook up, but there’s always next time.
Follow Amelia on Twitter: @MillyAbraham
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