An Open Letter to The Game

Dear The Game,

Can we call you just Game?

It’s recently been brought to our attention that George Zimmerman, who was acquitted in July for the murder of Florida teen Trayvon Martin, has agreed to participate in a celebrity boxing match on March 1st and that you, Game, have so valiantly answered his call for a challenger, vowing to “knock him out” “for the legacy of Trayvon and for his family.”

Game?

Don’t fight George Zimmerman.

Game, have you ever been punched? It doesn’t even really hurt that much, right? In fact, the harder someone punches you, the less it hurts. Your adrenaline is pumping like crazy and whatever trauma you sustain causes the area to go numb. You barely feel a thing. At least in our experience.

So let’s suppose you land a vicious haymaker to George Zimmerman’s left temple; by the time the fight is over and his heart and respiration rates have normalized, I bet he’s already got ice on it. Then he’ll pop a Percocet and Trayvon Martin will still be dead.

Also you might break your hand. You’re not a professionally trained boxer.

Didn’t you used to play basketball? Why don’t you challenge George Zimmerman to a game of basketball, instead? You can dunk on George Zimmerman and someone on Tumblr will make a gif of it and Trayvon Martin will still be dead.

Your best song is Compton (produced by will.i.am?).

Speaking of “you’re a rapper, not a professionally trained boxer,” do you remember when Sticky Fingaz tried boxing against skateboarder Simon Woodstock? It wasn’t a good look. The other guy in Onyx, not the guy from Moesha but the other guy, could not have benefited from this.

Have you even entertained the possibility that you might lose the fight? Can George Zimmerman skateboard? We don’t know.

We’ve just received word DMX would also like an opportunity to fight George Zimmerman. Did you know DMX was once a great rapper and now he’s addicted to crack? Well, so far it’s only you and DMX (who is addicted to crack) who have willingly volunteered to fight George Zimmerman.

Nevermind, your best song is “It Must Be Me.”

Wait a minute? Why would George Zimmerman subject himself to such a spectacle? He was acquitted of first degree murder by a jury of his peers because of a vague interpretation of a foolish law that defies common sense, right? So is he confessing his guilt? Is he asking for the punishment he continues to elude?

Maybe he’s doing it for money! Because the fight is being promoted by Damon Feldman! Who was charged with fixing celebrity boxing fights and promoting without a licenseback in 2010!

OK, so we’ve got a con-artist, a sociopath… what else do we need? A gullible rapper! Really any one will do. You? DMX? Sonsee? It doesn’t matter. If this is American Hustle, which we agree with you was just OK, then you’re the Jeremy Renner.

Of course we’re sure you’ve had an opportunity to consult with Trayvon’s parents before you agreed to this fight, right? Bet they both love The R.E.D. Album so much they think you should be the one to avenge the death of their son in a celebrity boxing match on Pay-Per-View. That sounds like justice.

Listen Game, you don’t think we all want to punch George Zimmerman in the face? You don’t think 50 Cent wants to punch George Zimmerman in the face? And 50 Cent used to be an actual boxer! If you’re such a boxer now, why don’t the two of you just box? And not Celebrity Deathmatch. You’ve been talking shit to each other for a fucking decade. Get in the Ring!

Actually your best song is “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.”

Damn, you’ve got a lot of good songs, probably because you’re a rapper and not a vigilante for justice. That’s what got us here in the first place.

So Game, we urge you to reconsider. Don’t fight George Zimmerman or you’re allowing him to exploit Trayvon’s death for his own personal gain. Dr. Dre says so.

Barry Schwartz listens to more jazz than you do. He's on Twitter - @DiscoVietnam