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A Slow Clap for This Year's Burning Man Trolls

The Burning Man Facebook page has been gloriously invaded by trolls and they want to know if your chakra is gluten-free.

via Flickr

Every summer, the annual tradition known as Burning Man rolls around, giving hippies, ”hipsters,” trust fund kids, rich white millennials, privileged art school kids, seasoned drug enthusiasts, old men who like flaunting their wrinkly sacks, and other walking clichés the opportunity to validate the world’s stereotype-based hatred of them. But every spring, a much more important time-honored tradition comes with it: The Trolling of the Burning Man.

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After Burning Man organizers created the official Facebook invite (which boasts an impressive 40k “going” and 2.3k “maybe” responses), the trolls came out in full force. Within just a few hours, the page overflowed with a near-endlessly scrollable series of Grade A trollings. People wanted to know if they could wear their cage-free Tevahs to pre-natal yoga, they posted rumors about black metal performers on this year’s WWE stage, they tried to get leads on good illegal narcotics and were definitely not cops. This troll fire burned for days.

Are Burners easy targets? Sure. Were some of the jokes hacky? Yeah. Were a few of them super NSFW racist/homophobic memes? Yes. (This is the internet.) But all that aside, any large-scale disruption of the organization of Burning Man is a big ol’ notch in the win column. So for those heroes who took time out of their day to bravely hold an e-mirror up to the dust-covered dipshits who attend Burning Man, we salute you. See you at the CPAC booth this year, friends. We’ll be selling the baby-safe farm-to-table glow sticks. Namaste.

First came the questions. A lot of these are covered in the official Burning Man FAQ and these people really should have checked first…

Then like any festival, some people just want to promote themselves and their #brands…

Then came the polls, which should serve as a useful resource for Burning Man's organizers…

By this point, even Burning Man himself (yes, THE burning man) got in on it…

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Then came the elusive double trolls…

Fortunately, this was a police-free thread…

Definitely meet up with this guy if you're going to Burning Man… Congrats to this lil' Burner! We're going to send him a bib that says "Baby's First BM."

And then check out this sick burn on those stupid idio… wait, hang on.