An Open Letter To Taco Bell

White Lung drummer Anne-Marie with her most prized possessions

I recently found out about Feed The Beat, a roster of up-and-coming musicians who receive $500 Taco Bell gift cards to use on tour. I am very, very jealous that White Lung didn’t make the cut.

Dear Taco Bell,

I recently found out about your Feed The Beat campaign—the one in which you give 100 bands $500 gift certificates each to “satisfy their hunger on the road.” I could not help but feel extremely jealous and betrayed that my band, White Lung, was not suggested. Granted, we did not apply, but had I been savvy to this contest, I would have been breaking down your door with my tiny, Taco-Bell-loving fists.

My bandmates and I adore your product. A-D-O-R-E it. When our band crosses over the Peace Arch Boarder from Canada into the outskirts of Seattle, WA, the first thing we do is drive to the Taco Bell an hour outside the crossing. A few times, our drummer Anne-Marie and I have actually run from the van to the line-up in your establishment in order to get our fix faster. I think she has pushed over children before. That Taco Bell location recently closed. We were devastated. This has been a tradition for years.

Last summer, on tour, I was extremely poor (as most touring musicians are) and, by default, ate a lot of Taco Bell. I had it down to an art. Potato Soft Taco and 2 Crunchy Fresco Tacos. Add some Fire Sauce. I could leave full from your establishment for merely $3.24! Do you know how amazing that is?!

All the punks love Taco Bell. It’s cheap, delicious, and never judgmental. I’ve been drunk, high on pills, and constipated in your restaurants and no one seems to mind. I’ve thrown up in your restrooms. I’ve done my make-up at your tables. I’ve even skipped in to take some ice from your pop machine just to make cocktails in the back of the van. You guys are wonderful.

Look, all I am trying to say here is that for White Lung, $500 Taco Bell dollars would last us a lifetime of tours. We would be full and happy. We are big fans here and would love for you to consider us for the next Feed The Beat campaign. Please feel free to send us gift cards, cheesy potatoes, or seven-layer dips anytime.

Peace, Love, and Tacos,

- Mish Way and White Lung